It snowed yesterday.
Snow… brrr…
The day started out like the days before – clear, cold, and windy. Quite windy. Shaking the house, rattling the roof, making the trees sway windy. Back home, a clear sunny morning like this one would have meant a nice warm day, but not here – the sunlight alone is not enough to counter the frigid bite in the air, aggravated by the strong winds.
And then the clouds started rolling in.
It was like a great grey wall, slowly spreading evenly across a blue backdrop. A darkness, silently engulfing the sky, blotting out the sun. In its wake, it left only various shades of grey painted across the heavens. Any lingering illusion of warmth was swept away, as the clouds were escorted in by the frigid winds, heralds of impending doom.
Then it started to rain. A freezing rain, the droplets turned to pellets of ice even as they fell from the sky. The green grass and black asphalt were slowly covered with the whiteness of frozen rain. And, gradually, the rain gave way to snow.
It did not drift peacefully from the sky, this snow. It was not a gentle snowfall, as is often depicted in fairy-tale scenes on television. No, these ice crystals were tossed down by an ungentle hand, toyed with by the harsh winds, and finally released to lay disgruntled upon the ground. The wind mixed dirt and grime in with the snow crystals, leaving the small mounds of snow looking disheveled and unclean. The snow collected upon the lawn, and in the streets, and on the step of the front porch, like miniature hilly snow banks.
Perfect for exploration. For cats.
Deb and Wes opened the door and let the cats wander in the snow a bit. They were intensely curious about this strange white stuff falling from the sky and collecting on their lawn, yet clearly unhappy with the “wet and cold” part. It only took a few gusts of snowy wind and a few seconds of wet-and-cold-paws to convince them that being inside the warm house was infinitely preferable to this being-outside thing. At least, until they got curious again, after about an hour or so of warmth had erased the experience from their little furry minds again.
Of course, today the snow gave way to freezing rains, making the sidewalk and streets icy and dangerous. I watched a few brave souls out in it today, slipping and sliding their way across the icy plains (well… sidewalks and walkways) to their cars.
… I’m definitely in a strange, alien place…
Monday, December 19, 2005
Friday, December 02, 2005
Post-Thanksgiving Blues
Went home last week for the Thanksgiving Holidays, and for a day or so was feeling just a bit down. I really took for granted having the family so close. We used to gather together for everything - every holiday, every birthday, every graduation. Now, not so much. But that just makes the times we DO gather all the more special, I guess.
Now, I'm far away. Far enough that I can't be there for every event, and every holiday. Far enough that I can't stop by and see my grandparents anytime I want, or tease my cousins about being so tall.
I miss the closeness. As someone who's had that support, and that bond, all my life, adjusting to this distance I've put between us is hard. Everything is different now, and no matter what, there's no turning back.
Still, I am discovering more of who I am, and how I want to live. I've always been the responsible one, the reliable one - the one others could count on when they're in need. And it's always come easy to me, to be the helpful one. But now, I have to tackle taking responsibility for my self - and I'm finding that's the hardest thing of all.
Now, I'm far away. Far enough that I can't be there for every event, and every holiday. Far enough that I can't stop by and see my grandparents anytime I want, or tease my cousins about being so tall.
I miss the closeness. As someone who's had that support, and that bond, all my life, adjusting to this distance I've put between us is hard. Everything is different now, and no matter what, there's no turning back.
Still, I am discovering more of who I am, and how I want to live. I've always been the responsible one, the reliable one - the one others could count on when they're in need. And it's always come easy to me, to be the helpful one. But now, I have to tackle taking responsibility for my self - and I'm finding that's the hardest thing of all.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Top News - Tonight at 11:00...
Top Story tonight at 11 - JAILBREAK!
A K-9 dog broke free of his kennel today in the Portland area, and the story gets top billing on the 11:00 news.
W T F ??
Strange... just strange. I mean, isn't there anything else of note to talk about on the news here? Back home, there's always news - shootings, robberies, high-speed car chases, smog, the economy, the Govenator, celebrity lawsuits - you name it, LA's got it.
...but apparently, we didn't have Houdini-type K-9 dogs that made the nightly news...
*shakes head*
...and they call us Los Angelese native peoples strange...
A K-9 dog broke free of his kennel today in the Portland area, and the story gets top billing on the 11:00 news.
W T F ??
Strange... just strange. I mean, isn't there anything else of note to talk about on the news here? Back home, there's always news - shootings, robberies, high-speed car chases, smog, the economy, the Govenator, celebrity lawsuits - you name it, LA's got it.
...but apparently, we didn't have Houdini-type K-9 dogs that made the nightly news...
*shakes head*
...and they call us Los Angelese native peoples strange...
Friday, November 18, 2005
Far Away
This poem kind of came to me. Been tinkering with it for the past couple of days. It's not completely on-the-mark with my situation, but the emotions are about right.
_____
Far Away
It hurts so much, it hurts so bad,
and I’m so far away.
Sharing thoughts and feelings now,
the things we couldn’t say.
The walls of silence tumble down,
assaulted by dismay.
And now our hearts we freely share -
but I’m so far away.
I’m far away from home,
So far and so alone.
A wayward leaf that’s blown,
Bereft of all I’ve known.
Still lost and doomed to roam,
A heart that can’t atone.
Still aching to the bone,
still longing for a home.
It seemed so right, it seemed so real,
But now it’s far away.
And everything we fought about,
a meaningless display.
Of tantrums thrown and egos bent,
the pain leads hearts astray.
And looking back I wonder why -
but now it’s far away.
I’m far away from home,
still feeling all alone.
A stone ‘cross water thrown,
cast into dark unknown.
Uncertain paths I roam,
and seek to make my own.
Still trying to atone,
still longing for my home.
A mind - weathered and worn
A heart - tattered and torn
A grief - mended and shorn
A soul – renewed and reborn
It hurts so much, it hurts so bad,
I feel so far away.
I’m holding on to what we have,
and won’t be lead astray.
Against the fear I wield a flame,
the darkness to allay.
And bolstered by your faith and love,
We’re not so far away.
I’m out here on my own,
myself, but not alone.
The pain I can’t disown,
and carry as I roam.
To test the dark unknown,
and see how much I’ve grown.
One day I’ll find my home.
Someday I’ll be at home.
© Talathar - November 16, 2005
_____
Far Away
It hurts so much, it hurts so bad,
and I’m so far away.
Sharing thoughts and feelings now,
the things we couldn’t say.
The walls of silence tumble down,
assaulted by dismay.
And now our hearts we freely share -
but I’m so far away.
I’m far away from home,
So far and so alone.
A wayward leaf that’s blown,
Bereft of all I’ve known.
Still lost and doomed to roam,
A heart that can’t atone.
Still aching to the bone,
still longing for a home.
It seemed so right, it seemed so real,
But now it’s far away.
And everything we fought about,
a meaningless display.
Of tantrums thrown and egos bent,
the pain leads hearts astray.
And looking back I wonder why -
but now it’s far away.
I’m far away from home,
still feeling all alone.
A stone ‘cross water thrown,
cast into dark unknown.
Uncertain paths I roam,
and seek to make my own.
Still trying to atone,
still longing for my home.
A mind - weathered and worn
A heart - tattered and torn
A grief - mended and shorn
A soul – renewed and reborn
It hurts so much, it hurts so bad,
I feel so far away.
I’m holding on to what we have,
and won’t be lead astray.
Against the fear I wield a flame,
the darkness to allay.
And bolstered by your faith and love,
We’re not so far away.
I’m out here on my own,
myself, but not alone.
The pain I can’t disown,
and carry as I roam.
To test the dark unknown,
and see how much I’ve grown.
One day I’ll find my home.
Someday I’ll be at home.
© Talathar - November 16, 2005
Monday, November 14, 2005
Bleh
Still kinda bleh today. Getting better, but it's just going to take time.
I got my new bed on Saturday. Woke up Sunday morning, and was immediately hit with a feeling of disorientation - for just a brief second, I thought I was back home in LA. Took me a while to realize that I wasn't. It was an odd feeling.
It's kinda weird. I feel like I'm being a big burden here. Like I'm being a total disruption - the bad kind.
I dunno.
Think I'll go take a little walk or something.
I got my new bed on Saturday. Woke up Sunday morning, and was immediately hit with a feeling of disorientation - for just a brief second, I thought I was back home in LA. Took me a while to realize that I wasn't. It was an odd feeling.
It's kinda weird. I feel like I'm being a big burden here. Like I'm being a total disruption - the bad kind.
I dunno.
Think I'll go take a little walk or something.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Homesick
It's kind of silly, as I've only been here a few days, but I'm missing home really bad right now. I miss my friends, I miss the town, I miss being able to drive around and run errands for myself - but most of all, I miss my family. I've lost my appetite the past couple of days, and have been feeling really down - enough so that Deb and Wes are worried.
I've been trying to keep busy with stuff - a little cleaning here, and a little reorganizing there, polishing up the resume, working on a new cover letter, stuff like that. But I just haven't been able to muster up much spirit about it.
So, I decided to call home today, and talk to the family. You know, just see how they are doing, let them know I miss them, and that kind of thing. I thought I'd get all weepy talking to Mom, but I got more weepy talking to Dad, really. He's been really worried, and I had to tell him several times that I'm okay. Mom was more practical, although I could tell she was happy I called. She asked me if I needed anything, and said she'd ship some things up to me, and have some things for me to take back when I visit for Thanksgiving.
I feel a little better now. I still miss them, but they're still there for me. And I know that they always will be - just like I'll always be there for them.
I've been trying to keep busy with stuff - a little cleaning here, and a little reorganizing there, polishing up the resume, working on a new cover letter, stuff like that. But I just haven't been able to muster up much spirit about it.
So, I decided to call home today, and talk to the family. You know, just see how they are doing, let them know I miss them, and that kind of thing. I thought I'd get all weepy talking to Mom, but I got more weepy talking to Dad, really. He's been really worried, and I had to tell him several times that I'm okay. Mom was more practical, although I could tell she was happy I called. She asked me if I needed anything, and said she'd ship some things up to me, and have some things for me to take back when I visit for Thanksgiving.
I feel a little better now. I still miss them, but they're still there for me. And I know that they always will be - just like I'll always be there for them.
Monday, November 07, 2005
The Trip
Off to Oregon
The first night, we drove for a few hours to get beyond the pass, because they were going to close it for most of the day Saturday. I still wish that there had been a little more time, and that Deb and Wes could have seen a little bit of LA before we had to leave, but that’s just the way things go sometimes. :/
We drove north on the 405, then north on the 5, until we had passed all the landmarks I was familiar with. And we kept driving, driving, driving, until finally we reached our destination for the night – a place I can no longer really recall, save for the comfortable bed I all but collapsed on, and the 24-hour IHOP were I had pumpkin pancakes and orange-flavored water (which supposedly was supposed to be orange juice) the next morning.
…mmm… pumpkin pancakes…
Anyway, we were all a bit tired so slept in just a wee bit, and didn’t get started until maybe 10ish on Saturday. Friday we stopped a little late, so I called my folks in the morning and left a message telling them I was okay before we headed off for breakfast. Then, refreshed somewhat, we trudged off northward once again. We made several stops for gas along the way, and had sandwiches at one point. We also encountered the horrid, putrid stench of freshly-made fertilizer of the bovine variety – sadly, we didn’t realize that the air conditioner was on “fresh air” instead of “circulate air.” And let me tell you, that air was “fresh” all right. Fresh from the moo-cow’s behind.
Blech.
Wes switched the air settings quickly, but alas it was already too late, for that the nauseating, fetid fumes had already infested the cabin of the minivan with a rank, noisome odor all its own. There was nothing we could do except endure the torment bravely until we had passed the wide, vast, seemingly unending collection of natural organic poo production factories. Once we cleared them, we set about to change the air by rolling down the windows.
Lunch was sammiches, from Guiliano's, which I will miss in the far off land of Oregon. Nummy sammiches, which I thank Keith for, because he went to go get them for me.
On Saturday, November 5th, at approximately 8:45 pm, I left the state ofCalifornia
It was raining, and driving in the rain at night on a mountain-side while tired… well… let’s just say it was a bit of an interesting ride. We stopped finally atGrants Pass.
Sunday morning – the last leg of the journey. Again started out a little on the late side – this time breakfast was a Denny’s. We then drove off once more, with Deb in the lead and me following behind. It rained off and on, and was enough to make me nervous – and Wes too, methinks. Still we managed to make it all in one piece.
After we unpacked quickly, I called home to let the folks know I had arrived safely. And, hearing the slight quaver in my mom’s voice set off a sudden wave of home sickness. Until then, I had been too busy with everything to really think about it all, and it all hit home right at that moment. It was hard. It still is hard. I miss them so much right now. I knew it was coming, but even so, I didn’t realize how hard it would hit.
I’m okay. Or rather, I’ll be okay – just going to take a bit of time.
Adventures mean some sacrifices and hardships, after all. I just gotta stick it through.
The first night, we drove for a few hours to get beyond the pass, because they were going to close it for most of the day Saturday. I still wish that there had been a little more time, and that Deb and Wes could have seen a little bit of LA before we had to leave, but that’s just the way things go sometimes. :/
We drove north on the 405, then north on the 5, until we had passed all the landmarks I was familiar with. And we kept driving, driving, driving, until finally we reached our destination for the night – a place I can no longer really recall, save for the comfortable bed I all but collapsed on, and the 24-hour IHOP were I had pumpkin pancakes and orange-flavored water (which supposedly was supposed to be orange juice) the next morning.
…mmm… pumpkin pancakes…
Anyway, we were all a bit tired so slept in just a wee bit, and didn’t get started until maybe 10ish on Saturday. Friday we stopped a little late, so I called my folks in the morning and left a message telling them I was okay before we headed off for breakfast. Then, refreshed somewhat, we trudged off northward once again. We made several stops for gas along the way, and had sandwiches at one point. We also encountered the horrid, putrid stench of freshly-made fertilizer of the bovine variety – sadly, we didn’t realize that the air conditioner was on “fresh air” instead of “circulate air.” And let me tell you, that air was “fresh” all right. Fresh from the moo-cow’s behind.
Blech.
Wes switched the air settings quickly, but alas it was already too late, for that the nauseating, fetid fumes had already infested the cabin of the minivan with a rank, noisome odor all its own. There was nothing we could do except endure the torment bravely until we had passed the wide, vast, seemingly unending collection of natural organic poo production factories. Once we cleared them, we set about to change the air by rolling down the windows.
Lunch was sammiches, from Guiliano's, which I will miss in the far off land of Oregon. Nummy sammiches, which I thank Keith for, because he went to go get them for me.
On Saturday, November 5th, at approximately 8:45 pm, I left the state of
It was raining, and driving in the rain at night on a mountain-side while tired… well… let’s just say it was a bit of an interesting ride. We stopped finally at
Sunday morning – the last leg of the journey. Again started out a little on the late side – this time breakfast was a Denny’s. We then drove off once more, with Deb in the lead and me following behind. It rained off and on, and was enough to make me nervous – and Wes too, methinks. Still we managed to make it all in one piece.
After we unpacked quickly, I called home to let the folks know I had arrived safely. And, hearing the slight quaver in my mom’s voice set off a sudden wave of home sickness. Until then, I had been too busy with everything to really think about it all, and it all hit home right at that moment. It was hard. It still is hard. I miss them so much right now. I knew it was coming, but even so, I didn’t realize how hard it would hit.
I’m okay. Or rather, I’ll be okay – just going to take a bit of time.
Adventures mean some sacrifices and hardships, after all. I just gotta stick it through.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
*Thoughtful sigh*
Today I slacked on the packing. Yes I know, that's not good considering I have to be done by Friday. But I have a good reason for the slacking - I was off visiting the grandmothers today.
I was a wee bit tired from packing late into the night, so I woke up behind schedule this morning. It took me a while to wake up completely, but eventually a little caffeine infusion seemed to do the trick. My brother wanted to go too, but he was having a bad time of it, so I waited, letting him sleep in for several hours. I should have spent that time packing some, really - but didn't do much.
Finally hit the road after lunchtime, and after a few errands we were off for a short trip down the freeway to the downtown area. We visited for a bit with my paternal grandmother first. It was kind of hard, because she only speaks Japanese, can't hear too well anymore, and is currently in her 90's. Still, she showed us pictures of her parents and siblings from when she was a child, and it was really interesting. It was also a little shocking, looking at those old pictures and realizing that they were taken about 90 years ago, when my grandmother was just a child. I also saw the family resemblance between my great-grandfather and my dad, and from there to my brother. Some of the facial structure is still in my face too, but the blood from mom's side gives me these tarutaru-ish cheeks, making it hard to see. *shrug*
We stayed for a while, hindered by difficulties in communication - my Japanese is very limited, and while I understand a little better than I speak, that's not really saying much. I think she understood when I told her I was leaving the state for a while, but I'm not completely sure. I wish there was more I could have said. As it is, I'm not completely sure she understood everything I said, or that I understood everything she was telling me. When the visit came to an end, my brother and I both gave her a hug, and told her to take care, and that we'd see her again next time.
After that visit, we stopped briefly in Little Tokyo, where I stopped to get some imagawayaki, as I figure I won't be finding these little suckers up north much. mmmm... nummy stuffs... I was such a pig, I had 2, fresh from the griddle. I also grabbed some extra imagawayaki and some bread, then we were on our way back on the road - this time, we went to our other grandmother's house.
We gave her the sweets, which she really likes, and talked for a bit. She said it would be lonely with me leaving the state, but said she understood that I needed to at least try, if that was what I wanted to do. But she did seem a bit sad about it, and she wanted to do something special for me before I go. In our family, that usually involves a meal with all your favorite dishes and stuff. I told her not to worry about it right now, because I'd be back for Thanksgiving, when everyone makes all my favorite dishes anyway.
Also took the parents, the brother, and the brother's girlfriend (of 4+ years now) out to dinner tonight, to thank them for everything they've done for me over the years. Dad wanted steak, so I took them to Black Angus (which he prefers over the Outback *shrugs*). It was fun, and everyone seemed to enjoy it.
I'm really going to miss my family. I know it's what I want to do and all, and I can always come back and visit... but at the same time, things will never be quite the same after this.
Then again, I guess that's true for every single day we're alive.
I was a wee bit tired from packing late into the night, so I woke up behind schedule this morning. It took me a while to wake up completely, but eventually a little caffeine infusion seemed to do the trick. My brother wanted to go too, but he was having a bad time of it, so I waited, letting him sleep in for several hours. I should have spent that time packing some, really - but didn't do much.
Finally hit the road after lunchtime, and after a few errands we were off for a short trip down the freeway to the downtown area. We visited for a bit with my paternal grandmother first. It was kind of hard, because she only speaks Japanese, can't hear too well anymore, and is currently in her 90's. Still, she showed us pictures of her parents and siblings from when she was a child, and it was really interesting. It was also a little shocking, looking at those old pictures and realizing that they were taken about 90 years ago, when my grandmother was just a child. I also saw the family resemblance between my great-grandfather and my dad, and from there to my brother. Some of the facial structure is still in my face too, but the blood from mom's side gives me these tarutaru-ish cheeks, making it hard to see. *shrug*
We stayed for a while, hindered by difficulties in communication - my Japanese is very limited, and while I understand a little better than I speak, that's not really saying much. I think she understood when I told her I was leaving the state for a while, but I'm not completely sure. I wish there was more I could have said. As it is, I'm not completely sure she understood everything I said, or that I understood everything she was telling me. When the visit came to an end, my brother and I both gave her a hug, and told her to take care, and that we'd see her again next time.
After that visit, we stopped briefly in Little Tokyo, where I stopped to get some imagawayaki, as I figure I won't be finding these little suckers up north much. mmmm... nummy stuffs... I was such a pig, I had 2, fresh from the griddle. I also grabbed some extra imagawayaki and some bread, then we were on our way back on the road - this time, we went to our other grandmother's house.
We gave her the sweets, which she really likes, and talked for a bit. She said it would be lonely with me leaving the state, but said she understood that I needed to at least try, if that was what I wanted to do. But she did seem a bit sad about it, and she wanted to do something special for me before I go. In our family, that usually involves a meal with all your favorite dishes and stuff. I told her not to worry about it right now, because I'd be back for Thanksgiving, when everyone makes all my favorite dishes anyway.
Also took the parents, the brother, and the brother's girlfriend (of 4+ years now) out to dinner tonight, to thank them for everything they've done for me over the years. Dad wanted steak, so I took them to Black Angus (which he prefers over the Outback *shrugs*). It was fun, and everyone seemed to enjoy it.
I'm really going to miss my family. I know it's what I want to do and all, and I can always come back and visit... but at the same time, things will never be quite the same after this.
Then again, I guess that's true for every single day we're alive.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Packing
My god I never realized how much CRAP I've accumulated in my life! There's just too much of it! No way I can take it all, and yet parting with some if it is just... painful.
So much stuff still to go through and pack up. Gah, and I only have until Friday. Yeash. Must get done... must... get... done...
*sighs*
So much stuff still to go through and pack up. Gah, and I only have until Friday. Yeash. Must get done... must... get... done...
*sighs*
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Tired Today...
I’m tired, exhausted, and feeling totally drained. My muscles are sore, my back aches, and I have a slight headache.
Still, overall, I’m great.
I had a lot of fun yesterday. Had a nice time with some good friends. Rode on some favorite old rides, including the newly-reopened Space Mountain. Even resisted the evil, siren aroma of the cinnamon-sugar tastiness that is the churro. And ended up the day with a nice dinner with some friends.
So, here's how it went...
The day started off with me waking up a little on the late side, and a phone call. My friend Feo was ready to go, and waiting... but sadly I wasn't ready yet. And Torias, who was the one supposed to be doing the driving, hadn't arrived to pick me up. I called Tori, who apparently hadn't slept much, and was in a very groggy (read: still asleep) state. Somehow he managed to make his way to my house in said state... one look, and I determined I would be doing the driving.
I wanted to ride the fun rides AT Disneyland, not have a scary ride TO Disneyland. >_>
Upon reaching Feo's house (and delivering a couple boxes of books for him, that they may find a good home), we all went to have breakfast at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. It was different from anything I'd ever had before, but surprisingly good. After breakfast, one of our friends had to leave - her car was in the shop and her hubby needed the car in the afternoon - and the rest of us trouped off for the Magical Kingdom.
We started off with the newly reopened Space Mountain. It was a long wait, sadly. An hour. We did talk to some cool people also in line. But for the wait, the ride was still... eh. I never was much of a fan of the Space Mountain, and despite everything, it was the same ride as before. The taru is happy for all those folks who enjoyed the ride, but if ever the taru finds her way back in the realm of the Mouse, the taru will just skip this one and go ride something else.
Next up we went to the Haunted Mansion. Feo was excited about, 'cause that's just his kind of thing, but we were all kind of let down by the "Nightmare before Christmas" thing they set up for the holidays. Instead of graves in the graveyard, they were all Christmas presents, and the ghosts were all wearing fake beards and Santa hats, and it just wasn't the same ghoulish kind of feel. I do think it's probably great for all those little trick-or-treating kids out there, but for me, it was just ... eh.
Then we backtracked a bit to go on the Politically Correctified version of the Pirates of the Carribean. It was fun, but we did note several changes - the talking skull at the drop now tells you to keep your hands and feet in the boat; the "pirates chasing the wenches" area has been reduced to one woman (holding a platter with a bottle of alcohol) being chased, while the woman with "the wonderful personality" is now holding a rolling pin and chasing two pirates now; and the fire scenes now have a lot less billowing flames.
Since it was close by, we also went on Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. I love that ride, and Feo had never been on it. I especially love how all the jerking and movement feel real, but the track itself is utterly flat. Oh, and the darts. Gotta love the darts. I almost bought a fedora after the ride, but managed to resist.
Also went on Big Thunder Mountain. And Splash Mountain. Feo graciously let me sit in the front seat.
...
...
...
-_-;
Needless to say, I'm so very glad I took along a change of clothes. I was so soaked after that ride. I was literally squeezing my shirt sleeve and water was pouring from it. I was dripping from head to ankles, because somehow the only parts of me that DIDN'T get drenched were my feet. Which I suppose was nice, as I absolutely HATE walking around in wet socks.
After a light meal (soup and salad for me), and a quick change of clothes for me, we went off for the Tower of Terror. Now first off, I must note that this was NOT my idea, as generally I hate vertical drop rides. But Feo wanted to ride it, and explained how his friends were involved with the project, so off we went. What we didn't realize that the California Adventure park was closing early... so we had to seriously hustle to get to the ride before they closed. We did manage to get there in time. While it wasn't as cool as the ride he was describing (the one in Disneyworld), it was still interesting and surprisingling I really did enjoy it. I may not ever ride it again, but I did enjoy it.
After that, we made our way back to the main park to assault the Matterhorn Bobsleds. It was fun... until the car started making strange noises at the fast turns, and Feo started saying stuff like, "Gee, it would really suck if the train went off the track... because it's not unknown for these kind of rides to do that..." Nothing like a little fear to make a ride more... umm... "interesting."
Thanks, Feo. Thanks a lot. :P
Finally, we headed out to Downtown Disney, to meet up with more friends for dinner. Ended up getting a few CD's from the musicians performing on the "streets" there, and had a nice dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. It was cool in there - they have animatronic animals and "rain" that falls right next to your tables (but not on you,) and occasional "thunderstorms" that go off every 30 minutes or so. And my friends even got me a nice light but warm jacket for my excursion into the wintery lands of the far north. (Okay okay, I know it's not THAT far north, but it does rain there, and they have the occasional bout of that strange, cold, white stuff they call "snow.")
Tired. Sometimes that’s okay though. Now off I go to sacrifice some coffee beans to the gods of caffeine, in hopes that the scalding of said beans will please them, and lift this curse of an aching head from my shoulders...
... damn though, I have a craving for churros now...
^_^;
Still, overall, I’m great.
I had a lot of fun yesterday. Had a nice time with some good friends. Rode on some favorite old rides, including the newly-reopened Space Mountain. Even resisted the evil, siren aroma of the cinnamon-sugar tastiness that is the churro. And ended up the day with a nice dinner with some friends.
So, here's how it went...
The day started off with me waking up a little on the late side, and a phone call. My friend Feo was ready to go, and waiting... but sadly I wasn't ready yet. And Torias, who was the one supposed to be doing the driving, hadn't arrived to pick me up. I called Tori, who apparently hadn't slept much, and was in a very groggy (read: still asleep) state. Somehow he managed to make his way to my house in said state... one look, and I determined I would be doing the driving.
I wanted to ride the fun rides AT Disneyland, not have a scary ride TO Disneyland. >_>
Upon reaching Feo's house (and delivering a couple boxes of books for him, that they may find a good home), we all went to have breakfast at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. It was different from anything I'd ever had before, but surprisingly good. After breakfast, one of our friends had to leave - her car was in the shop and her hubby needed the car in the afternoon - and the rest of us trouped off for the Magical Kingdom.
We started off with the newly reopened Space Mountain. It was a long wait, sadly. An hour. We did talk to some cool people also in line. But for the wait, the ride was still... eh. I never was much of a fan of the Space Mountain, and despite everything, it was the same ride as before. The taru is happy for all those folks who enjoyed the ride, but if ever the taru finds her way back in the realm of the Mouse, the taru will just skip this one and go ride something else.
Next up we went to the Haunted Mansion. Feo was excited about, 'cause that's just his kind of thing, but we were all kind of let down by the "Nightmare before Christmas" thing they set up for the holidays. Instead of graves in the graveyard, they were all Christmas presents, and the ghosts were all wearing fake beards and Santa hats, and it just wasn't the same ghoulish kind of feel. I do think it's probably great for all those little trick-or-treating kids out there, but for me, it was just ... eh.
Then we backtracked a bit to go on the Politically Correctified version of the Pirates of the Carribean. It was fun, but we did note several changes - the talking skull at the drop now tells you to keep your hands and feet in the boat; the "pirates chasing the wenches" area has been reduced to one woman (holding a platter with a bottle of alcohol) being chased, while the woman with "the wonderful personality" is now holding a rolling pin and chasing two pirates now; and the fire scenes now have a lot less billowing flames.
Since it was close by, we also went on Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. I love that ride, and Feo had never been on it. I especially love how all the jerking and movement feel real, but the track itself is utterly flat. Oh, and the darts. Gotta love the darts. I almost bought a fedora after the ride, but managed to resist.
Also went on Big Thunder Mountain. And Splash Mountain. Feo graciously let me sit in the front seat.
...
...
...
-_-;
Needless to say, I'm so very glad I took along a change of clothes. I was so soaked after that ride. I was literally squeezing my shirt sleeve and water was pouring from it. I was dripping from head to ankles, because somehow the only parts of me that DIDN'T get drenched were my feet. Which I suppose was nice, as I absolutely HATE walking around in wet socks.
After a light meal (soup and salad for me), and a quick change of clothes for me, we went off for the Tower of Terror. Now first off, I must note that this was NOT my idea, as generally I hate vertical drop rides. But Feo wanted to ride it, and explained how his friends were involved with the project, so off we went. What we didn't realize that the California Adventure park was closing early... so we had to seriously hustle to get to the ride before they closed. We did manage to get there in time. While it wasn't as cool as the ride he was describing (the one in Disneyworld), it was still interesting and surprisingling I really did enjoy it. I may not ever ride it again, but I did enjoy it.
After that, we made our way back to the main park to assault the Matterhorn Bobsleds. It was fun... until the car started making strange noises at the fast turns, and Feo started saying stuff like, "Gee, it would really suck if the train went off the track... because it's not unknown for these kind of rides to do that..." Nothing like a little fear to make a ride more... umm... "interesting."
Thanks, Feo. Thanks a lot. :P
Finally, we headed out to Downtown Disney, to meet up with more friends for dinner. Ended up getting a few CD's from the musicians performing on the "streets" there, and had a nice dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. It was cool in there - they have animatronic animals and "rain" that falls right next to your tables (but not on you,) and occasional "thunderstorms" that go off every 30 minutes or so. And my friends even got me a nice light but warm jacket for my excursion into the wintery lands of the far north. (Okay okay, I know it's not THAT far north, but it does rain there, and they have the occasional bout of that strange, cold, white stuff they call "snow.")
Tired. Sometimes that’s okay though. Now off I go to sacrifice some coffee beans to the gods of caffeine, in hopes that the scalding of said beans will please them, and lift this curse of an aching head from my shoulders...
... damn though, I have a craving for churros now...
^_^;
Friday, October 21, 2005
FREE!!!
Hmm... how tactful is it for your boss for the last 5 years or so tells you on your last day that you're making the right choice in leaving?
...?
Ah well, always said what she lacked in people skills she made up for in addle-headedness.
More importantly - I'm free! FREE!
...dunno what I'm going to do for a job after this, but AT LEAST IT AIN'T GONNA BE THERE!
*dances*
...?
Ah well, always said what she lacked in people skills she made up for in addle-headedness.
More importantly - I'm free! FREE!
...dunno what I'm going to do for a job after this, but AT LEAST IT AIN'T GONNA BE THERE!
*dances*
Monday, October 17, 2005
And Once Again I Realize…
…why I’m leaving this company.
‘Cause they are teh suq.
Today in a department meeting, the venerable VP of the department and one of the senior executive officers, had a full-blown temper tantrum at the manager and two employees (one of them a new one). In front of everyone. Just berated them, then whined and pissed and moaned about how she’s no longer “in the loop” for project she initiated… never MIND that previously she said she was too busy to be bothered with details, she just wanted results.
…
…
…
Boy, am I glad to be outta here. Geez. Talk about embarrassing. An executive of all people should have more control of their emotions than that – not to mention more class. Ah well, just goes to show that money does not equal culture, hm?
‘Cause they are teh suq.
Today in a department meeting, the venerable VP of the department and one of the senior executive officers, had a full-blown temper tantrum at the manager and two employees (one of them a new one). In front of everyone. Just berated them, then whined and pissed and moaned about how she’s no longer “in the loop” for project she initiated… never MIND that previously she said she was too busy to be bothered with details, she just wanted results.
…
…
…
Boy, am I glad to be outta here. Geez. Talk about embarrassing. An executive of all people should have more control of their emotions than that – not to mention more class. Ah well, just goes to show that money does not equal culture, hm?
Friday, October 07, 2005
Resignation
Well, I actually did it. I resigned today. In two weeks, I will no longer be employed by the company, where I’ve worked for the past 8 years.
8 years. Wow. I can’t believe I’ve been there so long.
And that’s just the first step. The next step, of course, is getting my stuff here together to move out. That’s going to be a big chore.
I’m excited and apprehensive both. I know this isn’t going to be all happiness and roses (just as well, with my allergies to pollen and all… :P), but it will be good for me in the long run. It’ll be difficult to adjust to everything – new environment, far from home and all the stuff here I know and all that. And just the whole living with non-family peoples will take getting used to – even though I love both ‘Tan and Raz lots, it’ll be something for me to get used to. Heck, just being outside of the beck and call of family will take getting used to. For me, and for the family.
Speaking of family…
Mom’s not taking this too well. She feels it’s too risky, that I shouldn’t have resigned until I had a job lined up ahead of time, and an apartment of my own set up, and all the arrangements made. I think really though she just doesn’t want me to go. And I can understand that. I hate to think that this decision might be hurting her, but I can’t really even talk to her about it. When she starts getting negative it just makes me more apprehensive, and I don’t want to hear it because I start second-guessing myself. Again. Like I’m not already wrestling with my own inner demons of insecurity – I don’t think I can take any more doubt.
I need to do this. I need to try. If I don’t try now, if I let myself be defeated by my fears, I’ll give up any sense of autonomy. I’ll be ruled by uncertainty and fear, trapped in my own mind by doubts and insecurity. (And that wouldn’t be very comfortable… kinda too crowded in that little space, and I’m rather claustrophobic…)
This old poem comes to mind.
__________
Taking Flight
If I weren't such a coward I'd just fly away -
Away from the charnel-house reek of decay.
Fling myself forth without haste or delay,
With other like souls to frolic and play.
But because I'm a coward, in this hell I stay,
where disgrace and self-pity assault me each day,
My missteps and failures they proudly display,
And poison my soul with despair and dismay.
Break away, break away, with the dawn fly away -
Let the pain and self-hatred o'er my heart hold no sway,
Unbound by the pettiness that dark hearts obey,
Let my soul fly in freedom, bright wings to essay.
© Talathar, 2003
__________
Mom, I love ya, and I'd never want to hurt ya - but I need to fly.
8 years. Wow. I can’t believe I’ve been there so long.
And that’s just the first step. The next step, of course, is getting my stuff here together to move out. That’s going to be a big chore.
I’m excited and apprehensive both. I know this isn’t going to be all happiness and roses (just as well, with my allergies to pollen and all… :P), but it will be good for me in the long run. It’ll be difficult to adjust to everything – new environment, far from home and all the stuff here I know and all that. And just the whole living with non-family peoples will take getting used to – even though I love both ‘Tan and Raz lots, it’ll be something for me to get used to. Heck, just being outside of the beck and call of family will take getting used to. For me, and for the family.
Speaking of family…
Mom’s not taking this too well. She feels it’s too risky, that I shouldn’t have resigned until I had a job lined up ahead of time, and an apartment of my own set up, and all the arrangements made. I think really though she just doesn’t want me to go. And I can understand that. I hate to think that this decision might be hurting her, but I can’t really even talk to her about it. When she starts getting negative it just makes me more apprehensive, and I don’t want to hear it because I start second-guessing myself. Again. Like I’m not already wrestling with my own inner demons of insecurity – I don’t think I can take any more doubt.
I need to do this. I need to try. If I don’t try now, if I let myself be defeated by my fears, I’ll give up any sense of autonomy. I’ll be ruled by uncertainty and fear, trapped in my own mind by doubts and insecurity. (And that wouldn’t be very comfortable… kinda too crowded in that little space, and I’m rather claustrophobic…)
This old poem comes to mind.
__________
Taking Flight
If I weren't such a coward I'd just fly away -
Away from the charnel-house reek of decay.
Fling myself forth without haste or delay,
With other like souls to frolic and play.
But because I'm a coward, in this hell I stay,
where disgrace and self-pity assault me each day,
My missteps and failures they proudly display,
And poison my soul with despair and dismay.
Break away, break away, with the dawn fly away -
Let the pain and self-hatred o'er my heart hold no sway,
Unbound by the pettiness that dark hearts obey,
Let my soul fly in freedom, bright wings to essay.
© Talathar, 2003
__________
Mom, I love ya, and I'd never want to hurt ya - but I need to fly.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Belief
It hurts to find out things sometimes. Like finding out that the friends you thought were standing behind you and believing in you, didn’t really believe. That they were actually waiting for you to back down and fail. That you’re known as a cowardly, unreliable, flakey person. That people don’t have faith in you.
That hurts. What hurts most is that it’s probably deserved.
After all, it’s hard for others to believe in you, when you don’t even believe in yourself.
That hurts. What hurts most is that it’s probably deserved.
After all, it’s hard for others to believe in you, when you don’t even believe in yourself.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
The State of Things
I just found out today that a coworker of mine lost 6 members of his family in the New Orleans flooding. This news left me totally speechless. My heart aches for him and his family.
Also just tonight, my neighbor called 911 and was taken to the hospital. We don't know what's going on exactly, our other neighbor called her in-laws while the paramedics were here.
There's so much going on in the world. Tragedy, pain, fear, uncertainty.
It happens all the time, every day. But usually it doesn't always affect us directly, and so it's easy to forget. Easy to overlook. Easy to ignore. We often insulate ourselves from the very idea of "bad things" ever happening to us, blithefully turning our gazes away from the very notion. We build up invisible walls in a vain attempt to shield ourselves from the harsher aspects of life, the ones that we don't want to mar our self-inflicted delusions upon which we base our perceptions of reality.
Until something happens that jars us from out little shielded santuaries, and forces us to face the ugly truth we try so hard to avoid.
There's a lot of pain in life. That's just the state of things. One of the worst things we can do to each other, as human beings, is to make things worse with pettiness, selfishness, and thoughtless cruelty.
I'm as guilty of it as anyone else.
-_-
Also just tonight, my neighbor called 911 and was taken to the hospital. We don't know what's going on exactly, our other neighbor called her in-laws while the paramedics were here.
There's so much going on in the world. Tragedy, pain, fear, uncertainty.
It happens all the time, every day. But usually it doesn't always affect us directly, and so it's easy to forget. Easy to overlook. Easy to ignore. We often insulate ourselves from the very idea of "bad things" ever happening to us, blithefully turning our gazes away from the very notion. We build up invisible walls in a vain attempt to shield ourselves from the harsher aspects of life, the ones that we don't want to mar our self-inflicted delusions upon which we base our perceptions of reality.
Until something happens that jars us from out little shielded santuaries, and forces us to face the ugly truth we try so hard to avoid.
There's a lot of pain in life. That's just the state of things. One of the worst things we can do to each other, as human beings, is to make things worse with pettiness, selfishness, and thoughtless cruelty.
I'm as guilty of it as anyone else.
-_-
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Here ya go, 'Tan!
Took this from Itanya, who in turn took it from someone else (Dubbage I believe)... anyways, here we go -
[-]Three names you go by:
1] Shirley (not exactly by choice, but ya know, gotta answer to SOMETHING in the real world…)
2] Raven (not as much as before though – that #3 one below kinda took over…)
3] Talathar
[-]Three Screen Names:
1] RavenDylondar
2] Talathar
3] Branwynne
[-]Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1] My smile
2] My hair (except when it’s in my eyes – then it’s just annoying)
3] My eyes (is why I put up with contact lenses, aftaru all ^^)
[-]Three Physical Things You Don't Like About Yourself:
1] My weight and physical weakness
2] My lower left back (rollerblading injury – I tend to limp slightly sometimes… alright technically it’s my butt, it still tends to hurt)
3] My left shoulder (it’s weak and tends to hurt with too much computer-time)
[-]Three Things That Scare You:
1] spiders
2] tight, enclosed spiders… errr… I mean, spaces (there’s a story behind #1 and #2…)
3] did I say spiders? and enclosed spaces? okay, then swimming pools (yes there’s a story behind this one too)
[-]Three Everyday Essentials:
1] food
2] friends
3] computer (with internet connection, of course)
[-]Three Things That You Are Wearing:
1] glasses
2] brace for my right hand
3] white socks
[-]Three Favorite Songs at The Moment:
1] Sitting, Waiting, Wishing – Jack Johnson
2] Schism - Tool
3] Breathe – Anna Nalick
[-]Three Things You Want in a Romantic Relationship:
1] Humor
2] Intelligence
3] A certain amount of butt-kickittude
[-]Two Truths and a Lie:
1] I sing atrociously
2] I tend towards laziness if given half the chance
3] I don’t sleep enough
[-]Three Features You Like in the Opposite Sex:
1] A good sense of humor
2] A good sense of self (but not TOO much sense of self)
3] A cheery attitude (to offset my general tendency towards grumpiness)
[-]Three Favorite Hobbies:
1] reading
2] writing
3] gaming
[-]Three Things You Want to Do Really Badly Right Now:
1] sleep? (I’ve been told I don’t do this enough…)
2] move out
3] give certain people at my work-place a piece of my mind (too bad I can’t spare that…)
[-]Careers You Have Considered:
1] literature teacher
2] writer
3] bookseller
[-]Places You Want to Go on Vacation:
1] Kyoto, Japan (…if I can ever get a translator… no my Japanese isn’t good enough to get by…)
2] England
3] Epcot Center (…too bad the humidity would probably kill me…)
[-]Ways You are Stereotypically a Chick/Dude:
1] I get teary at the sad parts of movies >_>
2] I have a collection of stuffed animals – including a squid my grandmother made for me (shaddup or I’ll throw them all at you. except the squid. *hugs squid* :P)
3] kittens make me melt into a little puddle of goo. puppies and babies too. dammit.
[-]Three Celebrity [secret] Crushes:
1] *blink*
2] *blink again*
3] No really, seriously – I can’t think of any
[-]Three People Who You Want to Take this Quiz:
1] Keith
2] Zeron
3] Zan
[-]Three names you go by:
1] Shirley (not exactly by choice, but ya know, gotta answer to SOMETHING in the real world…)
2] Raven (not as much as before though – that #3 one below kinda took over…)
3] Talathar
[-]Three Screen Names:
1] RavenDylondar
2] Talathar
3] Branwynne
[-]Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1] My smile
2] My hair (except when it’s in my eyes – then it’s just annoying)
3] My eyes (is why I put up with contact lenses, aftaru all ^^)
[-]Three Physical Things You Don't Like About Yourself:
1] My weight and physical weakness
2] My lower left back (rollerblading injury – I tend to limp slightly sometimes… alright technically it’s my butt, it still tends to hurt)
3] My left shoulder (it’s weak and tends to hurt with too much computer-time)
[-]Three Things That Scare You:
1] spiders
2] tight, enclosed spiders… errr… I mean, spaces (there’s a story behind #1 and #2…)
3] did I say spiders? and enclosed spaces? okay, then swimming pools (yes there’s a story behind this one too)
[-]Three Everyday Essentials:
1] food
2] friends
3] computer (with internet connection, of course)
[-]Three Things That You Are Wearing:
1] glasses
2] brace for my right hand
3] white socks
[-]Three Favorite Songs at The Moment:
1] Sitting, Waiting, Wishing – Jack Johnson
2] Schism - Tool
3] Breathe – Anna Nalick
[-]Three Things You Want in a Romantic Relationship:
1] Humor
2] Intelligence
3] A certain amount of butt-kickittude
[-]Two Truths and a Lie:
1] I sing atrociously
2] I tend towards laziness if given half the chance
3] I don’t sleep enough
[-]Three Features You Like in the Opposite Sex:
1] A good sense of humor
2] A good sense of self (but not TOO much sense of self)
3] A cheery attitude (to offset my general tendency towards grumpiness)
[-]Three Favorite Hobbies:
1] reading
2] writing
3] gaming
[-]Three Things You Want to Do Really Badly Right Now:
1] sleep? (I’ve been told I don’t do this enough…)
2] move out
3] give certain people at my work-place a piece of my mind (too bad I can’t spare that…)
[-]Careers You Have Considered:
1] literature teacher
2] writer
3] bookseller
[-]Places You Want to Go on Vacation:
1] Kyoto, Japan (…if I can ever get a translator… no my Japanese isn’t good enough to get by…)
2] England
3] Epcot Center (…too bad the humidity would probably kill me…)
[-]Ways You are Stereotypically a Chick/Dude:
1] I get teary at the sad parts of movies >_>
2] I have a collection of stuffed animals – including a squid my grandmother made for me (shaddup or I’ll throw them all at you. except the squid. *hugs squid* :P)
3] kittens make me melt into a little puddle of goo. puppies and babies too. dammit.
[-]Three Celebrity [secret] Crushes:
1] *blink*
2] *blink again*
3] No really, seriously – I can’t think of any
[-]Three People Who You Want to Take this Quiz:
1] Keith
2] Zeron
3] Zan
Monday, August 15, 2005
Grandpa, Pt III
Grandpa was released from the hospital today. He's on medication to control his blood pressure, and has to really change his diet. It's an aneurysm that's giving him the trouble, the doctor said.
Thanks everyone out there who offered support. ^^
Thanks everyone out there who offered support. ^^
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Grandpa, Pt. II
I'm kinda worried - grandpa seemed a little confused today. It's probably the medication and all. But still, he seems a little mixed up about things. It makes me worry, especially since the family can't seem to track down the doctor. If grandpa isn't able to understand what the doctor is saying when things are being explained, there's a problem.
I don't know if it's just by chance or by design, but we keep just missing the doctor. It's irritating. And troubling. We just want clarification. We want to know what's going on. We need a few answers. We need a little reassurance.
We ain't getting any.
You wanna know how angry an angry tarutaru can get, mistaru doctaru? You is aboutaru to findy outaru pretty soon...
=_=
I don't know if it's just by chance or by design, but we keep just missing the doctor. It's irritating. And troubling. We just want clarification. We want to know what's going on. We need a few answers. We need a little reassurance.
We ain't getting any.
You wanna know how angry an angry tarutaru can get, mistaru doctaru? You is aboutaru to findy outaru pretty soon...
=_=
Grandpa
My grandpa is in the hospital right now. He's doing better, and it's not as bad as the doctor originally thought it was, and he's out of the ICU now, but still it was scary for a bit.
I got a call on my cell phone on Thursday. It was my cousin. She left a message, which I didn't notice until right before lunch. I listened to the message as I was walking out to my car.
I almost didn't make it to the car.
On Wednesday, it seems my grandfather complained to my cousin about not being able to breath. So they called his heart doctor, who advised he take some nitro and then go to emergency. Once there, they started taking xrays and running tests, and determined that it looked like there was an artery that was clogged 100%. They pumped him up with blood pressure meds, and said they were going to run more tests and do an angiogram on Thursday afternoon.
I was shaking. I called my cousin back, and she said she was in touch with the doctor's office, and would call with any updates. I tried calling my mom, and I left a message at home. No one called me back, so I assumed no one got the messages. I went to lunch and forced myself to eat. I went back to work and told my manager what was going on. I waited for my cousin to call back anxiously, while trying to pretend to work, because I couldn't focus and couldn't concentrate.
At 5, I rushed home (in my old, beat-up car), changed, and rushed to the hospital to visit the grandfather. The mom and the dad were not home, but I didn't want to wait. We had just arrived at the hospital when my mom called, demanding more information, which of course I didn't have yet.
We went in to visit, talked to my cousin, who said the doctor hadn't come in yet, and that the nurses didn't really have any information to give us. We stayed until they kicked us out for their shift rotation, and I started back for home. I called my mom, got a bit singed for not having more information to give her (ouch, teach me to forget to don the flame-retardant suit), then picked something up for dinner on the way back. After dinner, my mom and 2 of her sisters went back to the hospital to see if they could find out more information, but the doctor never came and they came back at around 11:30 or so, exhausted.
Friday morning, I decided to not go to work, and help my mom and my aunt wait at the hospital. They went early, I went a little later on. Grandpa was glad to see us, and seemed more at ease with the company, although he kept dozing offl. We waited most of the morning, until nearly 12, when the nurses came to take grandpa for some more testing. They said they'd be back in an hour or two, so we went to lunch. We came back, but at 2 grandpa still wasn't back. We waited longer, and finally around 3ish he was back - but we had missed the doctor, and there was still no news.
At around 4 or so, the ICU nurse came to say that they were moving grandpa out of the ICU and to another room upstairs, because his condition was no longer critical. He had dinner first (the rice wasn't sticky, the food didn't taste good without salt, but he got vanilla wafers for dessert - grandpa loves his dessert), then they moved him. But still, no doctor. Finally around 6 or so, just as I was getting ready to take my mom home, the doctor showed up. He explained that the artery wasn't 100% blocked as they originally thought, but it was 60% or so clogged. But they still didn't know what was causing the breathing problems, so they were going to hold him for a bit longer. Also his bloodpressure was irregular, so they had increased his medications to stabilize it.
Grandpa was feeling better though. He was joking with the nurses, and eager to watch the Angels/Mariners game. Always a good sign, when Grandpa can complain about how the Angels keep choking under the pressure of away games.
^_^;
I got a call on my cell phone on Thursday. It was my cousin. She left a message, which I didn't notice until right before lunch. I listened to the message as I was walking out to my car.
I almost didn't make it to the car.
On Wednesday, it seems my grandfather complained to my cousin about not being able to breath. So they called his heart doctor, who advised he take some nitro and then go to emergency. Once there, they started taking xrays and running tests, and determined that it looked like there was an artery that was clogged 100%. They pumped him up with blood pressure meds, and said they were going to run more tests and do an angiogram on Thursday afternoon.
I was shaking. I called my cousin back, and she said she was in touch with the doctor's office, and would call with any updates. I tried calling my mom, and I left a message at home. No one called me back, so I assumed no one got the messages. I went to lunch and forced myself to eat. I went back to work and told my manager what was going on. I waited for my cousin to call back anxiously, while trying to pretend to work, because I couldn't focus and couldn't concentrate.
At 5, I rushed home (in my old, beat-up car), changed, and rushed to the hospital to visit the grandfather. The mom and the dad were not home, but I didn't want to wait. We had just arrived at the hospital when my mom called, demanding more information, which of course I didn't have yet.
We went in to visit, talked to my cousin, who said the doctor hadn't come in yet, and that the nurses didn't really have any information to give us. We stayed until they kicked us out for their shift rotation, and I started back for home. I called my mom, got a bit singed for not having more information to give her (ouch, teach me to forget to don the flame-retardant suit), then picked something up for dinner on the way back. After dinner, my mom and 2 of her sisters went back to the hospital to see if they could find out more information, but the doctor never came and they came back at around 11:30 or so, exhausted.
Friday morning, I decided to not go to work, and help my mom and my aunt wait at the hospital. They went early, I went a little later on. Grandpa was glad to see us, and seemed more at ease with the company, although he kept dozing offl. We waited most of the morning, until nearly 12, when the nurses came to take grandpa for some more testing. They said they'd be back in an hour or two, so we went to lunch. We came back, but at 2 grandpa still wasn't back. We waited longer, and finally around 3ish he was back - but we had missed the doctor, and there was still no news.
At around 4 or so, the ICU nurse came to say that they were moving grandpa out of the ICU and to another room upstairs, because his condition was no longer critical. He had dinner first (the rice wasn't sticky, the food didn't taste good without salt, but he got vanilla wafers for dessert - grandpa loves his dessert), then they moved him. But still, no doctor. Finally around 6 or so, just as I was getting ready to take my mom home, the doctor showed up. He explained that the artery wasn't 100% blocked as they originally thought, but it was 60% or so clogged. But they still didn't know what was causing the breathing problems, so they were going to hold him for a bit longer. Also his bloodpressure was irregular, so they had increased his medications to stabilize it.
Grandpa was feeling better though. He was joking with the nurses, and eager to watch the Angels/Mariners game. Always a good sign, when Grandpa can complain about how the Angels keep choking under the pressure of away games.
^_^;
Thursday, July 21, 2005
So I was driving to work the other day...
...with the windows down and the radio going, waiting patiently at a stoplight. There's a bus stop right there, with people waiting, but I don't give it a second thought. When this older Asian woman, who I had assumed was waiting for the next bus, comes up to my car and knocks on the passenger-side door. This of course startles me a bit, but being the polite type I turn down the radio to see what she wants.
In broken English, she asked (in a kind of demanding tone, I thought) if I were driving down to Carson. That puzzled me, so I gave her this blank look.
"What?"
"You drive Carson?" she asked again, and for a second I could have sworn she was going to open my car door and let herself in my car! (Lucky for me I always have it locked anyway...)
....?!?!?
I patiently explained that no, I wasn't driving to Carson, I was driving to work. In Torrance. Not Carson. She looked vaguely disappointed in me, and moved on to the next car, supposedly to ask the same question.
...???
Okay, I like to be helpful and everything, but am I the only one taken aback by this? I mean, if it were a neighbor or someone I knew, maybe I would have been tempted to offer a ride. But for a complete stranger to be asking - no, almost demanding! - a ride... ?
... sometimes people scare me...
In broken English, she asked (in a kind of demanding tone, I thought) if I were driving down to Carson. That puzzled me, so I gave her this blank look.
"What?"
"You drive Carson?" she asked again, and for a second I could have sworn she was going to open my car door and let herself in my car! (Lucky for me I always have it locked anyway...)
....?!?!?
I patiently explained that no, I wasn't driving to Carson, I was driving to work. In Torrance. Not Carson. She looked vaguely disappointed in me, and moved on to the next car, supposedly to ask the same question.
...???
Okay, I like to be helpful and everything, but am I the only one taken aback by this? I mean, if it were a neighbor or someone I knew, maybe I would have been tempted to offer a ride. But for a complete stranger to be asking - no, almost demanding! - a ride... ?
... sometimes people scare me...
Monday, July 18, 2005
*yawn*
New Harry Potter book: GOOD
"Capture the Flag" in World of Warcraft: FUN
Meteos on the Nintendo DS: ADDICTIVE
New Manager: COOL
Lack of Sleep: BAD
"Capture the Flag" in World of Warcraft: FUN
Meteos on the Nintendo DS: ADDICTIVE
New Manager: COOL
Lack of Sleep: BAD
Friday, July 08, 2005
About "Losing Myself"
Reading that poem again, wondering where it came from, and why. It woke me up as I was dozing at 1am in the morning last week, demanding that I get up, grab a pen and paper, write it down, before the words and thoughts and feelings behind them faded away into sleep. I sat there for an hour, dead tired and more than half asleep, trying to wake up enough to write them down in a semi-legible scrawl.
I know where it came from, now. Reflecting on it.
I don’t know why. I can’t explain it really. But somehow, in some way, I’m slowly losing my drive to play my main character in WoW. Ever since she hit the maximum level, there’s just something… not fun about her anymore. Lately, I don’t even log in with her, except to collect items to sell or send stuff to other characters.
Well, I guess actually it’s been creeping up on me even before I hit 60. The feeling that, even as I was pushing ahead, I was somehow getting left behind. The feeling that, somewhere along the line, I was losing something vital, something that was the spark that made the character fun.
I guess it’s a combination of things.
Some of the other level 60’s who were members of our guild left. I can’t blame them, as really there wasn’t much we could offer them anymore. They’re great people, friendly and always helpful. They’re still around, and we still consider them allies and friends. But I guess… I guess I just feel like I failed them, somehow. And that I failed the guild, too.
Everyone’s busy with their own things, their own agendas. That’s understandable. There are priorities in life, after all – the one thing I’d hate is if everyone felt obligated to do things they didn’t want to, in a game that is supposed to be about having fun. I don’t feel right imposing on others, either. Even most of our alts don’t quite match up in levels.
But with the level gaps within the group… it feels fragmented. No, that’s not right – I feel fragmented. Isolated.
It's not just the game, either. I’m in that mode again, I think. Isolating myself. Pulling away. Something is not right. I don’t know what, I don’t know why. Something is out of balance. Everything feels out of balance.
And yet I know, the only thing really out of balance right now, is me.
I know where it came from, now. Reflecting on it.
I don’t know why. I can’t explain it really. But somehow, in some way, I’m slowly losing my drive to play my main character in WoW. Ever since she hit the maximum level, there’s just something… not fun about her anymore. Lately, I don’t even log in with her, except to collect items to sell or send stuff to other characters.
Well, I guess actually it’s been creeping up on me even before I hit 60. The feeling that, even as I was pushing ahead, I was somehow getting left behind. The feeling that, somewhere along the line, I was losing something vital, something that was the spark that made the character fun.
I guess it’s a combination of things.
Some of the other level 60’s who were members of our guild left. I can’t blame them, as really there wasn’t much we could offer them anymore. They’re great people, friendly and always helpful. They’re still around, and we still consider them allies and friends. But I guess… I guess I just feel like I failed them, somehow. And that I failed the guild, too.
Everyone’s busy with their own things, their own agendas. That’s understandable. There are priorities in life, after all – the one thing I’d hate is if everyone felt obligated to do things they didn’t want to, in a game that is supposed to be about having fun. I don’t feel right imposing on others, either. Even most of our alts don’t quite match up in levels.
But with the level gaps within the group… it feels fragmented. No, that’s not right – I feel fragmented. Isolated.
It's not just the game, either. I’m in that mode again, I think. Isolating myself. Pulling away. Something is not right. I don’t know what, I don’t know why. Something is out of balance. Everything feels out of balance.
And yet I know, the only thing really out of balance right now, is me.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Losing myself
Losing myself
Losing myself
I just don't know why
running on empty
the well has gone dry
grinning and laughing
it feels like a lie
losing myself
as memories die
Lying awake
no tears left to cry
the pain a dull ache
that flows with the tide
fearful and empty
hiding inside
lying awake
but not knowing why
Looking for something
I know I can't find
feeling so helpless
and wandering blind
forging ahead
yet still left behind
looking for something
that just won't be mine
© Talathar, July 1, 2005
Losing myself
I just don't know why
running on empty
the well has gone dry
grinning and laughing
it feels like a lie
losing myself
as memories die
Lying awake
no tears left to cry
the pain a dull ache
that flows with the tide
fearful and empty
hiding inside
lying awake
but not knowing why
Looking for something
I know I can't find
feeling so helpless
and wandering blind
forging ahead
yet still left behind
looking for something
that just won't be mine
© Talathar, July 1, 2005
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
New Eyes
I have new eyes. They kinda hurt. But that's okay, I only pop them in for a couple hours a day, at night. At least, until I get used to them. Sometimes my vision gets a little blurry with them, especially the right eye. Someone suggested maybe they aren't fitted right.
Last time, I had to go through about 5 pairs of eyes, and none of them worked out well. So I just gave up, and did without them. But I needed new ones, so went to the doctor and picked these up just last weekend. I hope they work out better this time than last time, so I can see better. Otherwise I'll have to go back to just wearing glasses.
...what? ;P
Last time, I had to go through about 5 pairs of eyes, and none of them worked out well. So I just gave up, and did without them. But I needed new ones, so went to the doctor and picked these up just last weekend. I hope they work out better this time than last time, so I can see better. Otherwise I'll have to go back to just wearing glasses.
...what? ;P
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Cleaning House
Sometimes you don’t realize just how much junk you can accumulate when you’re feeling depressed and not caring about stuff. Until you start clearing through it all, that is. And it’s surprising how just a little thing like clearing out all your old junk can make you feel, once it’s all bagged and tossed out.
It’s a good feeling. Like starting out fresh. I like it.
Now for the mess that is the rest of my life... hmm, gonna need more trashbags...
It’s a good feeling. Like starting out fresh. I like it.
Now for the mess that is the rest of my life... hmm, gonna need more trashbags...
Monday, May 23, 2005
Too much
I know that, years from now, this is all going to look silly and petty and unimportant. But right now, it’s just too much. Too much. I can’t take much more.
Firstly, work suckage will be increasing substantially, because the assistant manager is leaving. This Wednesday will be her last day. Honestly, she’s been the one bright spark in our recent history of managers for the department. It was nice to actually have someone who knew WHAT a manager is really supposed to do, instead of just being a glorified secretary to someone higher up, never making any decisions or taking any responsibility.
Now, after Wednesday, that will all be gone.
Secondly, work suckage has already been increasing due to the loss of my ability to put up with the manipulations of a coworker who is under the deranged delusion that she is somehow in charge of me. The only defense I had to this previously was the soon-to-be-free assistant manager, who actually was the one I reported to. But now, now that will all be lost, and a direct confrontation may be necessary.
THAT will be ugly.
I hate confrontation. Especially ugly confrontations. Mostly because when I get angry, I get mean. Very mean. Normally I try to be a thoughtful person, and try to avoid hurting people’s feelings as much as I can. I try to be observant of what other people are sensitive about, note them, and avoid those topics in the future. But when I get mad, really mad, I have a very vicious tendency of targeting those vulnerabilities, and laying into a person with intent to hurt, as badly as I can. It’s not a side of myself I like.
But as much as I hate confrontations, I’m no longer willing to take someone else’s crap, either. If it comes to it, there WILL be a direct confrontation, it WILL be extremely ugly, and I WILL no doubt lose said person’s friendship over it. But at this point, if that’s what it costs me for a bit of sanity in the office, then so be it I’ll pay that price. The OTHER option is to go to HR. However, I know THAT will also cause a confrontation – just not during working hours. This person takes EVERYTHING personal, and will not hesitate to come after me after work to berate me for not going to her directly first. But the thing is, if I go to her directly first, it will turn into the direct (and ugly) confrontation I want to avoid in the first place.
Either way, I can’t win without some sort of confrontation - and the inevitable retaliation. Last time I got a really nasty voice mail message on my cell phone. The time before I got confronted in the parking lot. And then there was the time with the yelling in the kitchen… although to be fair, at that time my mom was recovering and I was really REALLY stressed out.
Thirdly, the family situation. Tensions ebb and flow, but lately they’re just bad. The brother is in chronic pain, and is without insurance – the dad wants the family to take responsibility, the mom and I feel we should support the brother, but feel that HE should be the one to take the initiative and get the help he needs.
I just need out.
A friend of mine has for the last 3 years or so offered me a place to stay – in Oregon. I’ve played with the idea many times, but never really seriously. Today I was looking at U-Haul rates, comparing them to van rental rates with my friend, trying to figure out how much of stuff to take, and figure what can be broken down for the move. I was calculating how much it would cost, considering the possibility of getting a used car instead of a new one, and even weighing donating my book collection to the local library or to goodwill.
I think I need to do this. For once, I think I need to not think of anyone else, and just think of myself.
Firstly, work suckage will be increasing substantially, because the assistant manager is leaving. This Wednesday will be her last day. Honestly, she’s been the one bright spark in our recent history of managers for the department. It was nice to actually have someone who knew WHAT a manager is really supposed to do, instead of just being a glorified secretary to someone higher up, never making any decisions or taking any responsibility.
Now, after Wednesday, that will all be gone.
Secondly, work suckage has already been increasing due to the loss of my ability to put up with the manipulations of a coworker who is under the deranged delusion that she is somehow in charge of me. The only defense I had to this previously was the soon-to-be-free assistant manager, who actually was the one I reported to. But now, now that will all be lost, and a direct confrontation may be necessary.
THAT will be ugly.
I hate confrontation. Especially ugly confrontations. Mostly because when I get angry, I get mean. Very mean. Normally I try to be a thoughtful person, and try to avoid hurting people’s feelings as much as I can. I try to be observant of what other people are sensitive about, note them, and avoid those topics in the future. But when I get mad, really mad, I have a very vicious tendency of targeting those vulnerabilities, and laying into a person with intent to hurt, as badly as I can. It’s not a side of myself I like.
But as much as I hate confrontations, I’m no longer willing to take someone else’s crap, either. If it comes to it, there WILL be a direct confrontation, it WILL be extremely ugly, and I WILL no doubt lose said person’s friendship over it. But at this point, if that’s what it costs me for a bit of sanity in the office, then so be it I’ll pay that price. The OTHER option is to go to HR. However, I know THAT will also cause a confrontation – just not during working hours. This person takes EVERYTHING personal, and will not hesitate to come after me after work to berate me for not going to her directly first. But the thing is, if I go to her directly first, it will turn into the direct (and ugly) confrontation I want to avoid in the first place.
Either way, I can’t win without some sort of confrontation - and the inevitable retaliation. Last time I got a really nasty voice mail message on my cell phone. The time before I got confronted in the parking lot. And then there was the time with the yelling in the kitchen… although to be fair, at that time my mom was recovering and I was really REALLY stressed out.
Thirdly, the family situation. Tensions ebb and flow, but lately they’re just bad. The brother is in chronic pain, and is without insurance – the dad wants the family to take responsibility, the mom and I feel we should support the brother, but feel that HE should be the one to take the initiative and get the help he needs.
I just need out.
A friend of mine has for the last 3 years or so offered me a place to stay – in Oregon. I’ve played with the idea many times, but never really seriously. Today I was looking at U-Haul rates, comparing them to van rental rates with my friend, trying to figure out how much of stuff to take, and figure what can be broken down for the move. I was calculating how much it would cost, considering the possibility of getting a used car instead of a new one, and even weighing donating my book collection to the local library or to goodwill.
I think I need to do this. For once, I think I need to not think of anyone else, and just think of myself.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
MORE Fortune Cookies...
By listening, one will learn truths. By hearing, one will only learn half-truths.
What does one get for NOT listening? Since folks around here seem to be really good at that...
In order to take, one must first give.
Someone want to teach that one to some other folks I know? I don't think they ever learned that. Unless they're talking about taking shit, 'cause that they know how to give REALLLLY well.
The wise thing to do is to prepare for the unexpected.
Yeah, tried that. They said I was being too negative and wrote me up for it…
Constant grinding can turn an iron rod into a needle.
...which, in the hands of a trained master, can prove fatal to irritants... *cue Wraith*
You are enterprising - take advantage of it.
I would, but Wraith's fees are too high...
People are waiting for cues from you.
Okay, does that mean I can tell them to stick it in their...
The social scene can be fun today.
*just laughs*
Change is happening in your life, so go with the flow!
Hmm…
A diversity of friends is a credit to your flexible nature.
Does “flexible nature” mean “person who is never sure who they are at any given moment?”
Your personality is great; use it proudly - don't debate.
To which personality do you refer? There are so many living in my head...
What does one get for NOT listening? Since folks around here seem to be really good at that...
In order to take, one must first give.
Someone want to teach that one to some other folks I know? I don't think they ever learned that. Unless they're talking about taking shit, 'cause that they know how to give REALLLLY well.
The wise thing to do is to prepare for the unexpected.
Yeah, tried that. They said I was being too negative and wrote me up for it…
Constant grinding can turn an iron rod into a needle.
...which, in the hands of a trained master, can prove fatal to irritants... *cue Wraith*
You are enterprising - take advantage of it.
I would, but Wraith's fees are too high...
People are waiting for cues from you.
Okay, does that mean I can tell them to stick it in their...
The social scene can be fun today.
*just laughs*
Change is happening in your life, so go with the flow!
Hmm…
A diversity of friends is a credit to your flexible nature.
Does “flexible nature” mean “person who is never sure who they are at any given moment?”
Your personality is great; use it proudly - don't debate.
To which personality do you refer? There are so many living in my head...
Thursday, April 28, 2005
*cough cough cough*
Okay, MOST of the fluish symptoms are gone... except for this blasted cough. I can't seem to kick it. I almost think it's more than just the flu - as in, my asthma kicking in with a wicked vengeance - but my co-workers who were also sick with it also are still coughing pretty bad.
Not as bad as I am, of course. I guess I'm special or something.
Even the cat looks upon me with sympathy. Then again, he's coughing a lot too. Poor asthmatic little furball on four-furred feet.
Ah well...
Not as bad as I am, of course. I guess I'm special or something.
Even the cat looks upon me with sympathy. Then again, he's coughing a lot too. Poor asthmatic little furball on four-furred feet.
Ah well...
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
bleh
The flu sucks.
I've been sick now for over a frigging week, and I'm still tired, still slightly feverish in the mornings, still congested, still feeling achy all over, and still am coughing. As a result, I'm trying to drink more liquids, sleep more, take better care of myself, etc. etc. etc.
However, I still feel like crap.
I blame the dhalmels.
I've been sick now for over a frigging week, and I'm still tired, still slightly feverish in the mornings, still congested, still feeling achy all over, and still am coughing. As a result, I'm trying to drink more liquids, sleep more, take better care of myself, etc. etc. etc.
However, I still feel like crap.
I blame the dhalmels.
Friday, April 15, 2005
Nyan
I want to get a cat.
I will name him Juan. If it turns out to be a girl cat, I will name her Juanita, but still call her Juan.
And I will occasionally talk to him or her in my broken, grammatically incorrect Japanese, because he or she will not make fun of my very bad, very broken Japanese, and will still love me unconditionally as his or her strangely deformed mutant mommy cat who has no fur and can’t manage to learn to use the litterbox.
And when I call my cat Juan (or Juanita, but Juan for short), I will call him or her in Japanese. And so I will say, “Juan-chan, oide oide!” and then if he or she feels like it, he or she will get off his or her furry buttaru and come to where I am calling him or her. And if he or she does NOT feel like it, he or she will completely ignore me, as if I did not exist, but that is okay because that is what cats do. And that is okay, because Juan-chan will be a cat, and so it is only natural for a cat to do what cats do.
Because cats are not dogs.
Yes this is a totally random post. But then these are supposed to be my random thoughts, and this thought was totally random, so I thought it deserved to be posted here. And besides, you’re not the boss of me, so I can post what I want to post, so long as it is not pornography or something else which the nice blog people here say is bad and should not be posted here. So bleh.
I will name him Juan. If it turns out to be a girl cat, I will name her Juanita, but still call her Juan.
And I will occasionally talk to him or her in my broken, grammatically incorrect Japanese, because he or she will not make fun of my very bad, very broken Japanese, and will still love me unconditionally as his or her strangely deformed mutant mommy cat who has no fur and can’t manage to learn to use the litterbox.
And when I call my cat Juan (or Juanita, but Juan for short), I will call him or her in Japanese. And so I will say, “Juan-chan, oide oide!” and then if he or she feels like it, he or she will get off his or her furry buttaru and come to where I am calling him or her. And if he or she does NOT feel like it, he or she will completely ignore me, as if I did not exist, but that is okay because that is what cats do. And that is okay, because Juan-chan will be a cat, and so it is only natural for a cat to do what cats do.
Because cats are not dogs.
Yes this is a totally random post. But then these are supposed to be my random thoughts, and this thought was totally random, so I thought it deserved to be posted here. And besides, you’re not the boss of me, so I can post what I want to post, so long as it is not pornography or something else which the nice blog people here say is bad and should not be posted here. So bleh.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
FRIDAY!!!
Well, okay, technically it's only Thursday, but for me it's Friday, 'cause I don't have to be here in this LIGHT-FORSAKEN place tomorrow, it's a Friday. As if that weren't enough of a thing to celebrate, the boss-lady brought in little Easter-basket treat for us.
And... the marshmallow peeps... *shudders*
Already a small handful have lost their marshmallowy and sugary lives at the hands of my nefarious co-worker, who gleefully bit off their ears, ignoring their heart-wrenching screams as they struggled in his steely grasp.
Their screams shall haunt me for the rest of my days...
*sneaks a marshmallow peep while no one is looking*
Hmm? Umm, noo, of course that wasn't just a peep I popped into my mouth. I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm sure. I, um, I only eat chocolate bunnies, and jellybeans, and things - no little tender sugary morsels of marshmallowy goodness clad in a myriad of bright cheerful colors... umm... that is... No, I didn't eat a peep. It must have just been your imagination. Yeah, your imagination. The mind playing tricks on you.
<_<
>_>
*sneaks another marshmallow peep*
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Grandma Update
Grandma is okay, and will be home tonight. They spent the whole day practically in the waiting room at the Emergency.
...geez... talk about fast service... oh well, so long as she's okay.
...geez... talk about fast service... oh well, so long as she's okay.
Grandma
My grandma has come down with a bad cold. Mom went to check on her this morning, and she's coughing so badly that her back is hurting, and she can't sleep.
Grandma had just recently (finally!) given up smoking. Her breathing was getting better, and she started feeling stronger. But this could is taking a lot out of her, it seems.
Mom took her to the hospital today. I'm waiting on news, puttering around and trying not to worry. I'd go, but my mom and aunt are already there, and this way if we have to go there I can pick up grandpa and drive him there too.
Trying not to worry, but am worried anyway. To the point that I'm carrying the cell phone everywhere with me, just in case Mom calls.
Heh... yeah... me, not worry. Excuse me while I go pour myself a glass of instant ulcer...
Grandma had just recently (finally!) given up smoking. Her breathing was getting better, and she started feeling stronger. But this could is taking a lot out of her, it seems.
Mom took her to the hospital today. I'm waiting on news, puttering around and trying not to worry. I'd go, but my mom and aunt are already there, and this way if we have to go there I can pick up grandpa and drive him there too.
Trying not to worry, but am worried anyway. To the point that I'm carrying the cell phone everywhere with me, just in case Mom calls.
Heh... yeah... me, not worry. Excuse me while I go pour myself a glass of instant ulcer...
On Language...
Lately on some of the gaming "board communities," I've been seeing a disturbing trend of thought. It seems that many people believe that language is not important. And that "words can only mean something if you let it."
I don't buy it.
Language is communication. Language is the only way we as human beings can convey thoughts from one person to another. Ever try visualizing a sunset without using words? Try. The average person will most likely find words involuntarily drifting through their minds - words like "sun" and "horizon" and "clouds" and "light" and "dimming" and "orange" and "fire" ...
For humans, words and thoughts are linked. From birth, we as a species are practically hard-wired for language. Have you ever had the opportunity to observe a child, as they start the process of converting random baby-noises into language? First into words, then into sentences? It's absolutely amazing - and often under-appreciated.
Words have power, because words are the basis of language. The words you choose have power, in that they color the ideas and thoughts you're trying to convey to others. The word is the symbol, the representation of an object, a thought, an idea...
Think all this is just meaningless blather? Fine, that's your opinion - one that I personally don't agree with. And, considering how much writers, copywriters, editors, political campaigners, and advertisers make for subtly twisting words to convince people to buy this, not vote for that, watch this and protest that, I think lots of other people in this world agree that words do have power.
...but then, I'm a writer. Of course I believe in the power of language. ^_~
I don't buy it.
Language is communication. Language is the only way we as human beings can convey thoughts from one person to another. Ever try visualizing a sunset without using words? Try. The average person will most likely find words involuntarily drifting through their minds - words like "sun" and "horizon" and "clouds" and "light" and "dimming" and "orange" and "fire" ...
For humans, words and thoughts are linked. From birth, we as a species are practically hard-wired for language. Have you ever had the opportunity to observe a child, as they start the process of converting random baby-noises into language? First into words, then into sentences? It's absolutely amazing - and often under-appreciated.
Words have power, because words are the basis of language. The words you choose have power, in that they color the ideas and thoughts you're trying to convey to others. The word is the symbol, the representation of an object, a thought, an idea...
Think all this is just meaningless blather? Fine, that's your opinion - one that I personally don't agree with. And, considering how much writers, copywriters, editors, political campaigners, and advertisers make for subtly twisting words to convince people to buy this, not vote for that, watch this and protest that, I think lots of other people in this world agree that words do have power.
...but then, I'm a writer. Of course I believe in the power of language. ^_~
Thursday, March 17, 2005
MORE Funny Fortune Cookie Fortunes
Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.
...I dunno about that... I'm pretty sure you need a willing body sometimes, too...
You will find happiness in mind and heart.
...what about in the checkbook?
You will have an important new business development shaping up soon.
...ahh, there's what will make the checkbook happy.
You will spend many years in comfort and material wealth.
...can I change the schedule on that, please? I think I'd like it to happen sooner...
Your ability for accomplishment will follow with success.
...what about my ability to slack - what reward will that net me?
You will hear pleasant news soon.
*runs to monster.com to check her account* ...darn... not yet I didn't...
Today is a perfect day to give that special person a gift.
...ummm... problem here... unless the next one is supposed to take care of that... >_>
You will meet a tall, handsome stranger online.
*laughs hysterically*
...I dunno about that... I'm pretty sure you need a willing body sometimes, too...
You will find happiness in mind and heart.
...what about in the checkbook?
You will have an important new business development shaping up soon.
...ahh, there's what will make the checkbook happy.
You will spend many years in comfort and material wealth.
...can I change the schedule on that, please? I think I'd like it to happen sooner...
Your ability for accomplishment will follow with success.
...what about my ability to slack - what reward will that net me?
You will hear pleasant news soon.
*runs to monster.com to check her account* ...darn... not yet I didn't...
Today is a perfect day to give that special person a gift.
...ummm... problem here... unless the next one is supposed to take care of that... >_>
You will meet a tall, handsome stranger online.
*laughs hysterically*
Monday, February 28, 2005
Spirals
Times change. Things change. And people change too. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not. But that's just the nature of things. Of life, really.
Progress is usually seen as a straight line, leading from the past into the present and straight into the future. People always talk about growing, changing, moving on, moving forward. Forward, ever forward, engines at full steam ahead, never look back.
As time has passed, I've changed as well. And yet, the more I change, and the more I grow, the more I feel like I'm returning to the point where I began. Or rather, I feel like I'm returning to my true self.
A self not filled with hopelessness. A self not filled with bitter regret. A self not filled with hate and rage... despite the occasional bout of anger. *glances wryly at a couple of posts below this one*
Instead, it's a self filled with forgiveness. A self filled with compassion and care. A self that is finding its true balance again. A self I haven't seen in a while.
This self isn't the same wide-eyed dreamer of twenty years ago. Nor even the melancholy reflective soul of ten years ago. And this self definitely isn't the same carefree joyful child of a quarter century ago. But there's a little something of all of these selves contained in this "new" self that I'm striving to uncover within - the dreamer, the somber soul, the joyful child. A little of them all, and yet also something different, something new. A new self. A self that is me.
Hello there again, self. It's been a while.
Progress is usually seen as a straight line, leading from the past into the present and straight into the future. People always talk about growing, changing, moving on, moving forward. Forward, ever forward, engines at full steam ahead, never look back.
As time has passed, I've changed as well. And yet, the more I change, and the more I grow, the more I feel like I'm returning to the point where I began. Or rather, I feel like I'm returning to my true self.
A self not filled with hopelessness. A self not filled with bitter regret. A self not filled with hate and rage... despite the occasional bout of anger. *glances wryly at a couple of posts below this one*
Instead, it's a self filled with forgiveness. A self filled with compassion and care. A self that is finding its true balance again. A self I haven't seen in a while.
This self isn't the same wide-eyed dreamer of twenty years ago. Nor even the melancholy reflective soul of ten years ago. And this self definitely isn't the same carefree joyful child of a quarter century ago. But there's a little something of all of these selves contained in this "new" self that I'm striving to uncover within - the dreamer, the somber soul, the joyful child. A little of them all, and yet also something different, something new. A new self. A self that is me.
Hello there again, self. It's been a while.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Hurrah for Three-Day Weekends (part 2)...
Hurrah for three-day weekends during which it rains fiercely, with intermittent thunderstorms which knock out power and make various electronic equipment have the hiccups, making it risky to use things like computers.
Hurrah for people who say vindictive, mean-spirited things behind your back... and THEN decide to share their comments with you to your face, pretending their derogatory and demeaning words are offered in the spirit of "friendship" (...yeah right... as the saying goes, "With friends like these, I'm better off with a flamethrower..." ).
And lastly, hurrah for listening to music at work, and getting the Electric Chocobo song stuck in your head... to the point where you're humming it under your breath on the way to get your second cup of coffee
GO CHOCOBO! GO!
*toddles away with a cup of coffee, still humming under her breath*
:P
Hurrah for people who say vindictive, mean-spirited things behind your back... and THEN decide to share their comments with you to your face, pretending their derogatory and demeaning words are offered in the spirit of "friendship" (...yeah right... as the saying goes, "With friends like these, I'm better off with a flamethrower..." ).
And lastly, hurrah for listening to music at work, and getting the Electric Chocobo song stuck in your head... to the point where you're humming it under your breath on the way to get your second cup of coffee
GO CHOCOBO! GO!
*toddles away with a cup of coffee, still humming under her breath*
:P
Friday, February 18, 2005
Hurrah for Three-day Weekends...
My brain hurts. My eyes burn. My back aches. My stomach feels nauseated. My allergies are flaring up. My appetite is non-existant. My shoulders feel like pieces of granite, they're so tense.My sinuses are bothering me. I feel fevered.
...in short, I do believe I might have come down with the flu. Just in time for the three-day weekend, too...
yay me.
-_-;;
...in short, I do believe I might have come down with the flu. Just in time for the three-day weekend, too...
yay me.
-_-;;
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Ode to Rolanberry Fields...
I was listening to the winamp radio today, on the jpop/anime/game station, while working away at the computer. Suddenly I heard something achingly familiar - the song for the Rolanberry Fields. It's an area on the Final Fantasy XI game. For some reason, it made me happy, yet melancholy at the same time. That song unexpectedly brought back fond memories. Memories of friends left behind, of time spent together, of the intense concentration, of focussed teamwork. I miss that.
I learned something important from that game: the true essense of good teamwork, is TRUST.
It's not enough to do your job, and do it well; it's just as important to trust others to do their jobs, without interference from you. And it's important for them to trust you as well. Without that sense of trust, things break down.
It was a good thing to learn. Or relearn, anyway.
It's horrible when you've trapped yourself in a place where trust is non-existant. Where doing your best just makes the higher-ups nervous and hostile. Where it's better to under-perform than over-achieve, because you'll get yelled at either way - but at least if you won't be eyed by management as a threat. And where even the best of intentions can lead you astray.
Looking back, it's no wonder I enjoyed FFXI so much - it was the perfect escape from this evil place. Vana'diel was a place where people did trust each other, and worked together as a cohesive team. That's something I don't have anymore. Instead, everyone here is only concerned with their own agendas. No one is looking beyond themselves at the bigger picture.
It was nice to be an integral part of a working team. Not to mention the amount of fun roleplaying a tarutaru was.
My role in WoW is much different than my role was as the diminutive little taru. I'm still trying to work things out, but hopefully I'm doing okay.
Still... I love the music from FFXI. Just hearing the music again made me miss the game a bit. I wonder if the soundtrack for that game is available anywhere...
I learned something important from that game: the true essense of good teamwork, is TRUST.
It's not enough to do your job, and do it well; it's just as important to trust others to do their jobs, without interference from you. And it's important for them to trust you as well. Without that sense of trust, things break down.
It was a good thing to learn. Or relearn, anyway.
It's horrible when you've trapped yourself in a place where trust is non-existant. Where doing your best just makes the higher-ups nervous and hostile. Where it's better to under-perform than over-achieve, because you'll get yelled at either way - but at least if you won't be eyed by management as a threat. And where even the best of intentions can lead you astray.
Looking back, it's no wonder I enjoyed FFXI so much - it was the perfect escape from this evil place. Vana'diel was a place where people did trust each other, and worked together as a cohesive team. That's something I don't have anymore. Instead, everyone here is only concerned with their own agendas. No one is looking beyond themselves at the bigger picture.
It was nice to be an integral part of a working team. Not to mention the amount of fun roleplaying a tarutaru was.
My role in WoW is much different than my role was as the diminutive little taru. I'm still trying to work things out, but hopefully I'm doing okay.
Still... I love the music from FFXI. Just hearing the music again made me miss the game a bit. I wonder if the soundtrack for that game is available anywhere...
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Birthdays...
Generally, I hate birthdays. No no, not other people's birthdays - those generally I enjoy.
I just don't like my own. Not usually.
I guess that why I'm grateful for my friends - they drag me out on such days. Because, if left to myself, it would just be another melancholy day of uneventfulness.
Yesterday I had to endure a work birthday lunch, yet again. I don't mind lunches with the boss-lady, but when the manager goes... well... let us just say I suddenly become deaf-mute and focus my complete and utter attention on my plate. Or the decor. Or anything else.
Not that I'm normally a chatter-box or anything. (Well, okay maybe sometimes I can be...) It's just that, for some reason, I just have no urge to talk. None what-so-ever. Not to her. Probably because I know that she can't be trusted, so I've never felt comfortable opening up to her. Not really. The only times I've done so, are because I really don't care who knows how I feel about stuff.
In any case, it was a good enough lunch. I survived with my sanity intact, at least. (...or did I... hmm... ) Besides, I got a gift certificate to Starbucks, and a free pass to Disneyland out of it, so... ^^y
Then, after work, the group took me out to dinner. Mmmm... Italian food... and good friends... and they brought in a cake. Chocolate cake. From my favorite bakery.
Once we were through with dinner, I thought I'd call it a night. But, after a bit of coaxing, we went to a local place where they do karaoke every Friday night, and stayed there until about 10ish or so. It was fun. As always.
I spent most of today (my REAL birthday) reading. Then, a bit out of the blue, I got a call from another friend who's out on the East coast now. We talked on the phone for a while. It was great.
I forget sometimes how much I miss these folks when they're not around. Since some of them left the hell-hole where we shared so much time, the place just hasn't been the same. I haven't been the same. It's gotten so that, after being treated as worthless by people day-in and day-out, and being taken advantage of, time and time again, even by those claiming friendship, you start to really believe it... -_-
I know a lot of great people. I'm grateful for that. Perhaps more than I can ever express. I hope to be worthy of such wonderful people.
Thanks, guys.
I just don't like my own. Not usually.
I guess that why I'm grateful for my friends - they drag me out on such days. Because, if left to myself, it would just be another melancholy day of uneventfulness.
Yesterday I had to endure a work birthday lunch, yet again. I don't mind lunches with the boss-lady, but when the manager goes... well... let us just say I suddenly become deaf-mute and focus my complete and utter attention on my plate. Or the decor. Or anything else.
Not that I'm normally a chatter-box or anything. (Well, okay maybe sometimes I can be...) It's just that, for some reason, I just have no urge to talk. None what-so-ever. Not to her. Probably because I know that she can't be trusted, so I've never felt comfortable opening up to her. Not really. The only times I've done so, are because I really don't care who knows how I feel about stuff.
In any case, it was a good enough lunch. I survived with my sanity intact, at least. (...or did I... hmm... ) Besides, I got a gift certificate to Starbucks, and a free pass to Disneyland out of it, so... ^^y
Then, after work, the group took me out to dinner. Mmmm... Italian food... and good friends... and they brought in a cake. Chocolate cake. From my favorite bakery.
Once we were through with dinner, I thought I'd call it a night. But, after a bit of coaxing, we went to a local place where they do karaoke every Friday night, and stayed there until about 10ish or so. It was fun. As always.
I spent most of today (my REAL birthday) reading. Then, a bit out of the blue, I got a call from another friend who's out on the East coast now. We talked on the phone for a while. It was great.
I forget sometimes how much I miss these folks when they're not around. Since some of them left the hell-hole where we shared so much time, the place just hasn't been the same. I haven't been the same. It's gotten so that, after being treated as worthless by people day-in and day-out, and being taken advantage of, time and time again, even by those claiming friendship, you start to really believe it... -_-
I know a lot of great people. I'm grateful for that. Perhaps more than I can ever express. I hope to be worthy of such wonderful people.
Thanks, guys.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
woo!
Yay! Got Branny's Blacksmithing to 200! Woo!
...now if only I had the 5 golds to attain artisan rank as an armorsmith...
...
...
-_-;;
Besides that, my head hurts and I'm all congested with icky-sticky snottiness. And I suspect there is badness afoot... somewhere... seeking to stompy-wompy littaru tarutarus with the clompy-stompy feetsies of doom...
<_<;;
...now if only I had the 5 golds to attain artisan rank as an armorsmith...
...
...
-_-;;
Besides that, my head hurts and I'm all congested with icky-sticky snottiness. And I suspect there is badness afoot... somewhere... seeking to stompy-wompy littaru tarutarus with the clompy-stompy feetsies of doom...
<_<;;
Monday, January 24, 2005
A little WoW rant...
Some people in this world want everything, and they want it their way.
Last night in "World of Warcraft," I was wandering around in the Arathi Highlands in search of elusive iron. Branny's metalcraft (aka blacksmithing skill) is almost to 200 now, but is just a wee bit short of the mark. At the same time, I was engaging raptors and spiders for that small tiny bit of XP I needed to get to 38.
After a while, I took Branny to the Drywhisker Gourge. The kobolds there are still a good challenge, AND there's mithril in that cave sometimes (along with the iron). Not to mention the nice sellable shinies the kobolds drop.
Now, seeing as the cave IS after all a quest cave, I wasn't all that suprised to see others there already. No problem, there's enough to share, I figured. I'm a polite sort, not one to let others clear the way to a ore vein for me so I can snag it. Heck, I'm one who usually will share a vein, if given half the chance.
I carefully made my way through the caverns, taking on the kobolds and seeking out iron on my radar. A couple times I noticed the iron pop, and made my way over, but saw others engaged with kobolds already nearby, so with a shrug I passed on by to fight some more kobolds. A little frustrating, but no problem. These folks have just as much right to the iron as I do. I even took the time to cast a few blessings (buffs) on the other players.
I went around and around, and each time was not the first one to spot the ore, so I passed it by. Finally, there was a dwarf (the same dwarf I had politely passed by several times already) who was engaged with a kobold, a few steps from an iron vein. A little past the iron, I also saw a chest.
Now, the dwarf finished with the kobold, and took off straight for the iron ore, mining it without a word to me. Fine and dandy, I thought to myself. You get the iron, I get the chest.
Sounds fair, right?
...
...
...
I guess not.
As I was clearing out the chest, the dwarf had just finished off his mining and ran in my direction. He looked at me clearing out HIS chest, shook his head and SIGHED in disgust, then ran off without saying a word.
...
...
...
...greedy bastard.
Oh well. It made me a tad grumpy, but I still persisted in my efforts, and did manage to get myself to level 38 before logging out for the night. But no more free buffs for THAT dwarf. On my list he is, and he'll stay there for a bit... or longer. We'll see.
Yeah, yeah - I know it's petty and vindictive. I have my moments. *shrug*
Last night in "World of Warcraft," I was wandering around in the Arathi Highlands in search of elusive iron. Branny's metalcraft (aka blacksmithing skill) is almost to 200 now, but is just a wee bit short of the mark. At the same time, I was engaging raptors and spiders for that small tiny bit of XP I needed to get to 38.
After a while, I took Branny to the Drywhisker Gourge. The kobolds there are still a good challenge, AND there's mithril in that cave sometimes (along with the iron). Not to mention the nice sellable shinies the kobolds drop.
Now, seeing as the cave IS after all a quest cave, I wasn't all that suprised to see others there already. No problem, there's enough to share, I figured. I'm a polite sort, not one to let others clear the way to a ore vein for me so I can snag it. Heck, I'm one who usually will share a vein, if given half the chance.
I carefully made my way through the caverns, taking on the kobolds and seeking out iron on my radar. A couple times I noticed the iron pop, and made my way over, but saw others engaged with kobolds already nearby, so with a shrug I passed on by to fight some more kobolds. A little frustrating, but no problem. These folks have just as much right to the iron as I do. I even took the time to cast a few blessings (buffs) on the other players.
I went around and around, and each time was not the first one to spot the ore, so I passed it by. Finally, there was a dwarf (the same dwarf I had politely passed by several times already) who was engaged with a kobold, a few steps from an iron vein. A little past the iron, I also saw a chest.
Now, the dwarf finished with the kobold, and took off straight for the iron ore, mining it without a word to me. Fine and dandy, I thought to myself. You get the iron, I get the chest.
Sounds fair, right?
...
...
...
I guess not.
As I was clearing out the chest, the dwarf had just finished off his mining and ran in my direction. He looked at me clearing out HIS chest, shook his head and SIGHED in disgust, then ran off without saying a word.
...
...
...
...greedy bastard.
Oh well. It made me a tad grumpy, but I still persisted in my efforts, and did manage to get myself to level 38 before logging out for the night. But no more free buffs for THAT dwarf. On my list he is, and he'll stay there for a bit... or longer. We'll see.
Yeah, yeah - I know it's petty and vindictive. I have my moments. *shrug*
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Glum Thoughts
Yesterday was grandma's birthday. Went with mom to take her some flowers and visit for a while.
Grandma's not looking too good. She's really looking frail and tired, and she's getting weaker and weaker. Dad says he isn't sure she's going to last out the year.
Sadness...
Grandpa is also not as spry as he used to be. His leg bothers him, and he hardly goes out for walks anymore. Even though he's supposed to, to help the circulation in his leg.
My dad's mother is also getting more frail and weaker as time goes by. She's older, but also lived a much healthier lifestyle than my mom's mom.
More sadness...
Mortality is going to steal these people away from me soon. There's nothing I can do to stop it. Just even briefly thinking about it leaves me filled with a melancholy aching. The painful reality looms in the not-so-distant future.
But for now, I'll do my best to ignore it, and take my grandmothers flowers when I can.
Grandma's not looking too good. She's really looking frail and tired, and she's getting weaker and weaker. Dad says he isn't sure she's going to last out the year.
Sadness...
Grandpa is also not as spry as he used to be. His leg bothers him, and he hardly goes out for walks anymore. Even though he's supposed to, to help the circulation in his leg.
My dad's mother is also getting more frail and weaker as time goes by. She's older, but also lived a much healthier lifestyle than my mom's mom.
More sadness...
Mortality is going to steal these people away from me soon. There's nothing I can do to stop it. Just even briefly thinking about it leaves me filled with a melancholy aching. The painful reality looms in the not-so-distant future.
But for now, I'll do my best to ignore it, and take my grandmothers flowers when I can.
Monday, January 10, 2005
Fortune Cookie Say...
time for a little levity...
Fortune Cookie say:
Frowns drive people away.
Note to self: frown more.
Fortune Cookie say:
Rely on long time friends to give you advice.
But... what if their advice really sucks? or they are really dumb?
Fortune Cookie say:
Rainy days lead to greener grass.
So does manure. Still stinks.
Fortune Cookie say:
Work diligently in life, and you will be rewarded.
- "in bed?"
Fortune Cookie say:
Time is best when well spent, not wasted.
What about if you spend your time well wasted...?
Hmm... I'm off for a cup of green tea now, to ingest while I contemplate these little seeds of paper wisdom contained with crispy sweet cookieness...
Fortune Cookie say:
Frowns drive people away.
Note to self: frown more.
Fortune Cookie say:
Rely on long time friends to give you advice.
But... what if their advice really sucks? or they are really dumb?
Fortune Cookie say:
Rainy days lead to greener grass.
So does manure. Still stinks.
Fortune Cookie say:
Work diligently in life, and you will be rewarded.
- "in bed?"
Fortune Cookie say:
Time is best when well spent, not wasted.
What about if you spend your time well wasted...?
Hmm... I'm off for a cup of green tea now, to ingest while I contemplate these little seeds of paper wisdom contained with crispy sweet cookieness...
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
...hmmm...
Interesting today - around 4:30ish this afternoon, the power at work went out. Amid the numerous cheers of jubilation and glee, several of our employees noticed that it wasn't just our building - it was the entire block. Maybe the entire grid (although we couldn't confirm this, since they don't unchain us from our desks until five minutes before five, after which they chase us out with cattle prods...).
Oh well, we weren't complaining. According to some folks in the neighborhood, the power going out in that area of town after some raininess isn't that unusual, after all.
But then, as we sat around chatting and looking wistfully out the window, wondering if the powers that be would deign to release us a few minutes early from our confinement, someone noticed something...
"Hey, isn't that a police officer out there? Why is he skulking around with his hand on his holster...?"
...hmm...? wha...? umm... not a good sign, maybe...?
As we gathered by the window (yes, yes, I know, not a smart move on our parts. Hey, what can I say - it's the environment), suddenly there was an announement over the bull-horn (or "emergency public announcement system" as it's technically known...) -
"Attention everyone, please evacuate the building."
... umm... okay... now that's just a little scary...
Thus, at a quarter til 5, we all quickly gathered our things and departed the building and headed out to the parking lot. There we mulled about anxiously, wondering if NOW the powers that be would deign to let us go home. It only made sense, after all... but... who knows...
So we waited for official word. A few employees were saying it was okay to leave, but a few of us, jaded by experience, waited for "official" word, so as to not once again be burned by the cruel hand of official meany-head-ness.
And then, as the clouds began to gather, and the skies began to darken, came the official word from the very mouthpiece of the official officialness -
YES!
Ah, how quickly we all scurried to our cars, to happily depart, to joyfully escape for a few short hours. To spend time at home, with family or friends, free from the ceaseless mind-numbing toil (or incessant boredom) ... for a short time, at least. A short time...
*sigh*
But really, I wonder what that was all about. The other buildings along the block were also evacuated. Was the power cut for some reason - not as in accidentally, but purposefully? Strange... I'll have to keep an eye out on the news tonight...
Oh well, we weren't complaining. According to some folks in the neighborhood, the power going out in that area of town after some raininess isn't that unusual, after all.
But then, as we sat around chatting and looking wistfully out the window, wondering if the powers that be would deign to release us a few minutes early from our confinement, someone noticed something...
"Hey, isn't that a police officer out there? Why is he skulking around with his hand on his holster...?"
...hmm...? wha...? umm... not a good sign, maybe...?
As we gathered by the window (yes, yes, I know, not a smart move on our parts. Hey, what can I say - it's the environment), suddenly there was an announement over the bull-horn (or "emergency public announcement system" as it's technically known...) -
"Attention everyone, please evacuate the building."
... umm... okay... now that's just a little scary...
Thus, at a quarter til 5, we all quickly gathered our things and departed the building and headed out to the parking lot. There we mulled about anxiously, wondering if NOW the powers that be would deign to let us go home. It only made sense, after all... but... who knows...
So we waited for official word. A few employees were saying it was okay to leave, but a few of us, jaded by experience, waited for "official" word, so as to not once again be burned by the cruel hand of official meany-head-ness.
And then, as the clouds began to gather, and the skies began to darken, came the official word from the very mouthpiece of the official officialness -
YES!
Ah, how quickly we all scurried to our cars, to happily depart, to joyfully escape for a few short hours. To spend time at home, with family or friends, free from the ceaseless mind-numbing toil (or incessant boredom) ... for a short time, at least. A short time...
*sigh*
But really, I wonder what that was all about. The other buildings along the block were also evacuated. Was the power cut for some reason - not as in accidentally, but purposefully? Strange... I'll have to keep an eye out on the news tonight...