Spirals

Times change. Things change. And people change too. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not. But that's just the nature of things. Of life, really.

Progress is usually seen as a straight line, leading from the past into the present and straight into the future. People always talk about growing, changing, moving on, moving forward. Forward, ever forward, engines at full steam ahead, never look back.

As time has passed, I've changed as well. And yet, the more I change, and the more I grow, the more I feel like I'm returning to the point where I began. Or rather, I feel like I'm returning to my true self.

A self not filled with hopelessness. A self not filled with bitter regret. A self not filled with hate and rage... despite the occasional bout of anger. *glances wryly at a couple of posts below this one*

Instead, it's a self filled with forgiveness. A self filled with compassion and care. A self that is finding its true balance again. A self I haven't seen in a while.

This self isn't the same wide-eyed dreamer of twenty years ago. Nor even the melancholy reflective soul of ten years ago. And this self definitely isn't the same carefree joyful child of a quarter century ago. But there's a little something of all of these selves contained in this "new" self that I'm striving to uncover within - the dreamer, the somber soul, the joyful child. A little of them all, and yet also something different, something new. A new self. A self that is me.

Hello there again, self. It's been a while.