Went home last week for the Thanksgiving Holidays, and for a day or so was feeling just a bit down. I really took for granted having the family so close. We used to gather together for everything - every holiday, every birthday, every graduation. Now, not so much. But that just makes the times we DO gather all the more special, I guess.
Now, I'm far away. Far enough that I can't be there for every event, and every holiday. Far enough that I can't stop by and see my grandparents anytime I want, or tease my cousins about being so tall.
I miss the closeness. As someone who's had that support, and that bond, all my life, adjusting to this distance I've put between us is hard. Everything is different now, and no matter what, there's no turning back.
Still, I am discovering more of who I am, and how I want to live. I've always been the responsible one, the reliable one - the one others could count on when they're in need. And it's always come easy to me, to be the helpful one. But now, I have to tackle taking responsibility for my self - and I'm finding that's the hardest thing of all.
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