Is Ignorance an Excuse?

Too many times, words said in seeming ignorance hurt innocent bystanders. Like a gun shot into the air - that bullet has to come down sometime, somewhere. Hopefully it doesn't hit anyone one the way back.

Sadly, too often when someone tries to explain WHY such comments or words are hurtful, they are met with disdain and ridicule.

"I didn't mean it that way," is a common response. Because sometimes just admitting that you didn't know that something might be offensive is too hard to do. Other times, it's just the lingo, part of the way the cool crowd talks, and so no one wants to go up against the crowd.

Whatever the case, not all things are offensive all the time. It really does depend on the situation. Was the comment said jokingly, or with malicious intent? Was it an appropriate thing to say at the time?

For example, if you call your friend a "jap" at a dinner for Japanese American internment camp folks, well if some obaachan comes over and smack you upside the head with her walker, I think maybe you deserve it, yea?

Another common argument is "its just words, it only hurts you if you let it." Partly true, yet also partly false. I believe words inherently have power - the power of language, of communication. We take that power for granted, but really it's an incredible thing. Communication is the ability to convey thoughts, feelings, and even abstract ideas from one person to another through sounds, symbols, gestures, or expressions. And this power can be used for creative or destructive purposes.

Again, it comes down to the intent of the speaker. But how are we to know what that intent was? Too often among strangers, the intent of the words chosen cannot be easily determined. That's why words can often unintentionally hurt. It's common enough in spoken language, and even more common on the 'net.

Others knowingly use words to hurt, then pretend that they did not mean them in such a way. We've all known our share of such folks, I'm sure. In my experience, they tend to burn through "friends" pretty fast.

But intentional or not, if you've hurt someone, you should be able to take responsibility for that action. At least, that's how I feel.