A strange scene that popped into my head one bleary morning - thought maybe writing it down would help get it out of my brain.
_____
I was awake. Barely so, but awake. A part of me was surprised. The rest of me couldn't decide if it wanted to be annoyed or wryly amused, and so just settled for being weary. So very weary.
The lights had been dimmed in the room again. Even against my closed eyelids I could tell. Not completely dark, but not brightly lit either. Comfortingly dim. I'd been having trouble falling asleep in complete darkness, of late. It was funny, really, all things considered.
The darkness would come soon enough.
Tired still. Always tired. But the comfort of sleep slid away, and slowly my mind bestirred itself, prodding me.
Someone was in the room.
Weakly, I turned my head. Opened my eyes. Blinked. Tried to focus. But they'd taken my glasses again as I slept, so everything remained blurry and indistinct in my eyes. I grinned slightly. Even without them I knew who was there.
"Hi," I managed to whisper quietly.
"You're awake?" She leaned forward, took my hand. Her had was warm.
"Yeah. For a little bit." My mouth was dry. "Mom... can I have some water?"
She released my hand to pour some water, brought the flimsy plastic cup, and helped me to drink. I fought to keep the grimace off my face. The water was tepid, and tasted of staleness and plastic. Still, I managed to drink most of it.
"Thanks."
"Did you want more?"
"No, it's okay."
We sat for a while in silence.
"Are you cold?"
"No, mom. I'm okay." I thought a moment. "Maybe some TV." I reached for the remote, knowing it was somewhere...
"Here," she said, reaching over and handing it to me.
I took it and pressed the TV button. The little television up near the ceiling made a soft click-buzz, and the plastic control in my hand blared with sound as the screen slowly came to life. Hastily, I turned the sound down just a bit.
"What day is it?" I asked.
"Friday."
"Ah. Isn't that show on tonight?" I started flipping through the channels.
"Yes, but it won't be on for another hour or so."
"Okay. Maybe we can watch it together?"
Silence for a bit.
"That would be nice," she replied finally.
I reached for my glasses. Usually they were on the table.
"Here..." she handed them to me, letting me slowly unfold them and put them on myself. It took a bit.
She looked tired. Her eyes were puffy. "Mom, you need more rest," I admonished gently. "You should go home, sleep a little."
She just looked at me, then looked away. I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear to see her cry, just then.
We were both saved when dinner arrived. Such as it was. Chicken broth. Tasteless stuff. And cold, or at best rather tepid. Jello. She helped me sit up and eat some. I didn't really want any of it, but it took our minds off things. I ate as much as I could.
Afterwards, my eyes felt heavy again.
"Sorry," I yawned. "Getting tired again..."
"That's okay," she assured me. "Don't worry. Sleep if you need to."
"Thanks."
The greyness of sleep reached out to me again. I felt myself slipping into it, slowly. As it engulfed me gently, I heard words, soft words coming from the speaker still in my hand. I could almost understand, but the words jumbled all together, making no sense, forming no pattern. Like leaves falling, swirling in the wind. And for a moment, just briefly, the words came together in my mind
Vibrant colors fall,
Dancing in the autumn wind;
The dimming light fades.
Consciousness faded. But into greyness, not blackness.
Not yet.
__________
©Talathar, 10/2006
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