Stuff stuff stuff. I hate stuff. Well, the bad stuff anyway. I like good stuff, but not a whole lot of good stuff seems to be happening right now. Or at least, two really bad things are keeping me from feeling the happy glow of the good things. Like a negative aura, sucking all the goodness out of my life, leaving me nothing but the badness, the madness, and the sadness.
Okay, the first thing that's happening is work-related. Bad stuff happened, and basically the "powers that be" are using my boss as the scapegoat. (No, not the evil boss, for those of you who may know to whom I refer - the de-facto boss, the one that actually does all the work, even though she doesn't have the title) In typical fashion, their blatant coldness, their petty cruelty, and their callous attitudes (which sadly make up the most attractive parts of their "character") are coming to the fore in-force as they rampage through the department like waifey wanna-be's in a giant two-headed lizard suit, laying waste to the faux city of cubicle walls, and unleashing the toxic breath of evil words upon the frightened and helpless masses that they employ.
The boss is getting the brunt of the blame, and now they're trying to pin EVERYTHING ELSE that's gone wrong on her as well. Never mind that she was never given the authority to make any decisions ever, and that everything had to be approved by the "powers that be" first. Never mind that the one with the actual title of manager is the one who actually dropped the ball - as one of the elite members of the entourage of "powers that be," the invulnerable shield of "infallibility" falls upon her as well. Because, as we all know, the "powers that be" are NEVER wrong. EVER. Don't even suggest it, or the wrath shall fall upon thee, and make you cower in fear of "teh ebil" and "teh whorror."
... hmmm... who made the decisions ? and who gave approval? and has the title? and who get's the big paycheck? now... who's supposed to be responsible again? yeah, right, whatever... lowzy shirkers...
anyway...
The OTHER thing I've been feeling bad about is that I've finally decided to put the tarutaru out to pasture...but I'm leaving folks behind, and I feel really bad about it. I mean, really REALLY bad. Guilty even. Especially since some of these folks migrated over from other servers to play with our group... and then, almost the entire group goes and migrates over to "World of Warcraft."
FFXI was fun with the group. Very fun. I didn't WANT to like it at first... at first, I was really adamant that I was DONE with MMORPG's, after AC and the debacle of the NwN "incident" and all. I was kinda interested in WoW, but WoW was still a LONG way out there, and until then there just seemed nothing to pass the time.
I played "Age of Mythology" for a while, and "Dungeon Siege," and even "Morrowind," but none of them were satisfactory for long. So, after a while watching my brother play, I decided to give FFXI a try... and it was fun. And I started posting on one of the FFXI boards... and that was fun. Even though I was hesitant about it at first. Met some nice people, even got into a game group with them in FFXI.
But now... I dunno. Just over-all, it's not as fun as it used to be. I never got very high with my character, but... it just didn't FEEL as fun. It felt like... work.
Still, I enjoyed playing with the group. Whether it was the full party going out to destroy pixel monsters for the night, or just hooking up with a couple of them for a night of killing other pixel monsters for in-game currency, it was fun.
I especially enjoyed the time spent with a couple of guys - both of them live up north a wee bit, but in the same time zone. The three of us would go hunting together alot. One even came over from a different server to hang out with us. It was cool, and fun. It got to the point that I sometimes wouldn't bother logging in until 9ish in the evening, 'cause then I could be sure to not be already occupied with something else, and could hang out.
But now... I just don't have the urge to log in, even. WoW is more fun to me - easier, less time consuming, and has more roleplaying opportunities.
....but I feel bad about leaving people behind... ;_;
(...'Tan... have a site for job openings in OR?)
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
I'm beginning to hate the Christmas season...
Christmas-time is supposed to be a celebration of holiday cheer. A time of love and laughter, goodness and giving. Of showing those in your life how much you care about them, and show your appreciation for their presence in your life.
Ba humbug. HUMBUG I say.
All I've been seeing of late is petty selfishness and greed around here. People cutting each other off in traffic, in a rush to get to the stores and get presents. People flipping each other off, yelling and screaming and honking their horns. People going the WRONG WAY in the parking lot, just to grab that one spot near the front - never mind the little old lady who had been waiting for that spot to open up! And everyone's so grumpy, grumpy, grumpy.
Damn. If you don't want to buy presents, just don't. Don't go and make people miserable just because you don't want to deal with the hassle. Yeesh. If you don't sincerely want to get something nice for people, WHY DO IT? It's meaningless, unless you mean it from the heart. I understand being a tad annoyed by it all, but don't take it out on everyone else. It's not their faults you waited until the last minute to shop. Try being a little more giving, a more patient, and a lot less cranky! Those retail folks aren't having a whole lot of fun either, ya know. How about trying to say "please" and "thank you" to them a little - it's not a lot, but it can't hurt!
The worst is here at work. Presents delivered from people outside NOT being delivered to their addressee, but instead to the top HR person, to be distributed at their discretion - i.e. the steaks sent for department A instead go to upper management, the Godiva chocolates for department B instead go to upper management, the cheapy 3-way popcorn can for management instead goes to departments A and B. (Gee, thanks...just what we always wanted, stale popcorn from last year...) We're not even getting a "real" Christmas party this year - we'll be holding it inside the office. BUT we'll still have to "dress up" as if it were a fancy party, even though we're only going to be here at work... (so we get to lose our traditional casual Friday, too? Wow, I feel so special.)
We'll probably get a nice plate this year too from the company, just like last year. (A plate? what the heck am I supposed to do with a frigging plate? I guess use it for the finger sammiches and greasy chips we'll be getting to eat this year? Ooh, can I get a big-sized paper cup for my apple juice too?)
Sad thing is, I think they're trying to be "nice." As in, really really trying. (If this is being "nice" I think I prefer the normal abuse we're subjected too...)
Oh wait, I did get a little bonus from them. (OOhh, money... I can buy 1.5 hardback books with THIS massive amount of spending cash... lookout Borders, I'm gonna buy your entire stock of books now!)
Really, why even try to be nice to people only once or twice a year? This trying to "buy" our affections only at Christmas and birthdays is not only insulting, it's degrading. Especially when you're trying to "show your appreciation" with a plate, some sammiches, and a draconian dress code (people, high school is over, this ain't prom - get over it) on what is supposed to be a simple company party AT WORK.
Now, please excuse me - it seems that with the paper Christmas tree someone gave me, I've exceeded my "only 3 personal items at your desk" rule, so I'm going ot have to sacrifice something to the spirit of the Great Trashcan of Demoralization to appease the wrath of the HR gods... >_<;
Ba humbug. HUMBUG I say.
All I've been seeing of late is petty selfishness and greed around here. People cutting each other off in traffic, in a rush to get to the stores and get presents. People flipping each other off, yelling and screaming and honking their horns. People going the WRONG WAY in the parking lot, just to grab that one spot near the front - never mind the little old lady who had been waiting for that spot to open up! And everyone's so grumpy, grumpy, grumpy.
Damn. If you don't want to buy presents, just don't. Don't go and make people miserable just because you don't want to deal with the hassle. Yeesh. If you don't sincerely want to get something nice for people, WHY DO IT? It's meaningless, unless you mean it from the heart. I understand being a tad annoyed by it all, but don't take it out on everyone else. It's not their faults you waited until the last minute to shop. Try being a little more giving, a more patient, and a lot less cranky! Those retail folks aren't having a whole lot of fun either, ya know. How about trying to say "please" and "thank you" to them a little - it's not a lot, but it can't hurt!
The worst is here at work. Presents delivered from people outside NOT being delivered to their addressee, but instead to the top HR person, to be distributed at their discretion - i.e. the steaks sent for department A instead go to upper management, the Godiva chocolates for department B instead go to upper management, the cheapy 3-way popcorn can for management instead goes to departments A and B. (Gee, thanks...just what we always wanted, stale popcorn from last year...) We're not even getting a "real" Christmas party this year - we'll be holding it inside the office. BUT we'll still have to "dress up" as if it were a fancy party, even though we're only going to be here at work... (so we get to lose our traditional casual Friday, too? Wow, I feel so special.)
We'll probably get a nice plate this year too from the company, just like last year. (A plate? what the heck am I supposed to do with a frigging plate? I guess use it for the finger sammiches and greasy chips we'll be getting to eat this year? Ooh, can I get a big-sized paper cup for my apple juice too?)
Sad thing is, I think they're trying to be "nice." As in, really really trying. (If this is being "nice" I think I prefer the normal abuse we're subjected too...)
Oh wait, I did get a little bonus from them. (OOhh, money... I can buy 1.5 hardback books with THIS massive amount of spending cash... lookout Borders, I'm gonna buy your entire stock of books now!)
Really, why even try to be nice to people only once or twice a year? This trying to "buy" our affections only at Christmas and birthdays is not only insulting, it's degrading. Especially when you're trying to "show your appreciation" with a plate, some sammiches, and a draconian dress code (people, high school is over, this ain't prom - get over it) on what is supposed to be a simple company party AT WORK.
Now, please excuse me - it seems that with the paper Christmas tree someone gave me, I've exceeded my "only 3 personal items at your desk" rule, so I'm going ot have to sacrifice something to the spirit of the Great Trashcan of Demoralization to appease the wrath of the HR gods... >_<;
Monday, November 22, 2004
Worried
I'm rather worried about me mum.
She's been tired lately. And a little cranky. But that's not why. I'm used to her being a little cranky, especially when she's tired.
It's just that, every once in a while, she makes these little comments. Comments that really aren't like her. Not every day or anything, but just occasionally. It's still enough to worry me.
"I'm not always going to be here to take care of you," she scolded my dad, a slight edge in her voice as she cleaned up after one of his infamous kitchen messes.
Every time she says it, my heart stops a moment.
I've been trying to get her to go see the doctor for a check up. Not that anything is wrong, but she was supposed to be going every 6 months or so, and hasn't been. Part of it is financial - she couldn't afford PPO coverage at first, and would have had to go to a different doctor, which she wasn't confortable with.
On one level, I understand. It's hard to share with a complete stranger your medical history, especially for ovarian cancer. That's such a private thing for a woman, especially for someone as reserved and private as my mom. It was really painful for her to have to get that operation, which in her eyes took away much of her womanhood. To have to share that with a stranger, and talk about it even... I mean, I understand that she'd rather stay with the doctor she already knows and trusts. I even understand the financial situation - even though she knows I'd help out with any money issues, she doesn't like to rely on others for stuff like that. Then again, since the rest of her family always comes to HER with their financial woes every time, I can see WHY she wouldn't want to come to me with her own.
But that doesn't matter. She needs to go. She says she's waiting until the open enrollment period for her company, which is in February. I'm not really comfortable with that, but she's stubborn. My dad and I have kind of tag-teamed her on this, but we both know direct confrontation won't work. All THAT would do is make her even more determined to stay the course she's decided on already. The only thing we can do is try to convince her, with logic and gentle persistence.
Even though I don't know that she's going to change her mind on this one. *sigh*
She's been tired lately. And a little cranky. But that's not why. I'm used to her being a little cranky, especially when she's tired.
It's just that, every once in a while, she makes these little comments. Comments that really aren't like her. Not every day or anything, but just occasionally. It's still enough to worry me.
"I'm not always going to be here to take care of you," she scolded my dad, a slight edge in her voice as she cleaned up after one of his infamous kitchen messes.
Every time she says it, my heart stops a moment.
I've been trying to get her to go see the doctor for a check up. Not that anything is wrong, but she was supposed to be going every 6 months or so, and hasn't been. Part of it is financial - she couldn't afford PPO coverage at first, and would have had to go to a different doctor, which she wasn't confortable with.
On one level, I understand. It's hard to share with a complete stranger your medical history, especially for ovarian cancer. That's such a private thing for a woman, especially for someone as reserved and private as my mom. It was really painful for her to have to get that operation, which in her eyes took away much of her womanhood. To have to share that with a stranger, and talk about it even... I mean, I understand that she'd rather stay with the doctor she already knows and trusts. I even understand the financial situation - even though she knows I'd help out with any money issues, she doesn't like to rely on others for stuff like that. Then again, since the rest of her family always comes to HER with their financial woes every time, I can see WHY she wouldn't want to come to me with her own.
But that doesn't matter. She needs to go. She says she's waiting until the open enrollment period for her company, which is in February. I'm not really comfortable with that, but she's stubborn. My dad and I have kind of tag-teamed her on this, but we both know direct confrontation won't work. All THAT would do is make her even more determined to stay the course she's decided on already. The only thing we can do is try to convince her, with logic and gentle persistence.
Even though I don't know that she's going to change her mind on this one. *sigh*
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Ode to Pumpkin Pie
I love this time of year. The cool weather. The occasional rain. (Yes, it does rain in CA. Not often, but it does. :P ) The cold mornings that make you want burrow under your blankets and stay just five minutes longer in the warmth on that most dreadful of days known as Mondays...
no wait... strike that last one...
Yes, I love this time of year. But most of all, I love the pumpkin pie.
Oh the wondrous, tasty scrumptiousness that is the pumpkin pie. Oh the unmatched flavor of nutmeg and allspice and cinnamon, blended together with the pumpkiny goodness of pureed pumpkin, baked in a flakey crust of pieness, and topped with the sweet, sweet cream of whippedness.
Oh, the rapture.
But alas, for that I did upon the preceding eve purchase such a delicacy. Fully did I intend to partake of it - after my somewhat unpalatable fast-food meal of ultimate mediocrity had been somewhat digested. But I, in a mindless stupor induced by the evil box of distraction, did utterly forgot said morsel. And thus was the pumpkin pie left, forgotten and alone, to lament its solitary fate.
Ah, the cries of sorrow it must have shed, that poor, solitary pumpkin pie. All alone, abandoned and forgotten in an empty kitchen. Deprived even of the company of its fellow pumpkiny brethren, ripped ever-so-cruelly from its lifelong friends mere hours after its birth. What a tragic, tragic fate had befallen it.
No worries though - 'twill soon find and ending to its misery. Yes oh yes, it surely will... *chuckles softly, with just a hint of malice...*
no wait... strike that last one...
Yes, I love this time of year. But most of all, I love the pumpkin pie.
Oh the wondrous, tasty scrumptiousness that is the pumpkin pie. Oh the unmatched flavor of nutmeg and allspice and cinnamon, blended together with the pumpkiny goodness of pureed pumpkin, baked in a flakey crust of pieness, and topped with the sweet, sweet cream of whippedness.
Oh, the rapture.
But alas, for that I did upon the preceding eve purchase such a delicacy. Fully did I intend to partake of it - after my somewhat unpalatable fast-food meal of ultimate mediocrity had been somewhat digested. But I, in a mindless stupor induced by the evil box of distraction, did utterly forgot said morsel. And thus was the pumpkin pie left, forgotten and alone, to lament its solitary fate.
Ah, the cries of sorrow it must have shed, that poor, solitary pumpkin pie. All alone, abandoned and forgotten in an empty kitchen. Deprived even of the company of its fellow pumpkiny brethren, ripped ever-so-cruelly from its lifelong friends mere hours after its birth. What a tragic, tragic fate had befallen it.
No worries though - 'twill soon find and ending to its misery. Yes oh yes, it surely will... *chuckles softly, with just a hint of malice...*
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Back online! (woo hoo!)
Okay, so with some help from tech support and my brother, we found out what was wrong, and it has been since fixed. Thus, once again the black-cloaked wander is free to roam the skies of the internet at will, and an annoyingly cute tarutaru has been once again wandering the lands.
Oh joy. Oh rapture. Oh joyous rapture. And stuff.
Ya don't really know what yer missin 'til yer missin it, ya know?
Of course, now I got lots to do, and lots of work to catch up on. With no internet access, even looking at the computer at home made me irritable, and thus I didn't touch the durned thing for the duration of my little outage. Now, I have no excuse not to meet certain writing obligations I've not been meeting of late.
*looks meekly apologetic*
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
GAH!
Urk.
After 5 days, I am still internet-less at home. My only solace is that I still have some limited access to the internet after a fashion.
And yet, for some reason I'm not all that motivated to get my internet service back. There is no real drive for me to get on the phone with my ISP and scream until this problem has been fixed. I'm just not caring much. Even though it is of some inconvenience to be without access to the internet.
I'm just... I dunno, a little apathetic. I don't really care.
Maybe because so many people at home have just been taking gross advantage of a service I've been paying for. Maybe it's because no one seems to appreciate the $50+ bill I fork over my money for every month for high-speed internet access. Maybe it's because I wish for once someone else would just take care of things for me, instead of me having to scramble around and accommodate others. Maybe I'm just too tired, or too lazy, or just burned out.
Maybe I just don't care.
I do miss being online at home though... -_-
After 5 days, I am still internet-less at home. My only solace is that I still have some limited access to the internet after a fashion.
And yet, for some reason I'm not all that motivated to get my internet service back. There is no real drive for me to get on the phone with my ISP and scream until this problem has been fixed. I'm just not caring much. Even though it is of some inconvenience to be without access to the internet.
I'm just... I dunno, a little apathetic. I don't really care.
Maybe because so many people at home have just been taking gross advantage of a service I've been paying for. Maybe it's because no one seems to appreciate the $50+ bill I fork over my money for every month for high-speed internet access. Maybe it's because I wish for once someone else would just take care of things for me, instead of me having to scramble around and accommodate others. Maybe I'm just too tired, or too lazy, or just burned out.
Maybe I just don't care.
I do miss being online at home though... -_-
Friday, October 29, 2004
Happy Halloween at the Office...
So here I am once again, dressed up, as I alway dress up, every year, in the same ren faire outfit I always wear for Halloween, sitting at my desk in front of the computer. Why? 'Cause it's just about required for this department. Oh, I'd probably never actually get reprimanded for it in anything near an official capacity. (They did that once, and I didn't take it very well. I'm sure it's been noted in my file.) But I would get subtly censured, as I have in the past for "non-participation" and the like. Well, what they see as subtle anyway.
...whatevers...
In any case, I have another headache today, and sadly I forgot the wonderous box of headache medicines at home in my other bag. The bag I left at home today. Because of the costume. Oh well. I'm wearing the hat to try to compress my head a little, in an attempt to control the feeling of pressure and thus ignore the headache. But it's not working. Dammit.
Maybe it'll work if I pull the hat down over my eyes. Or at least my left eye. That might work. Yeah. But then, I won't be able to see the screen as I type. Hmm, that presents something of a quandry. I shall have to ponder that, as I sit in the artificial darkness that is the inside of my foofy hat with feathers.
At least, until lunch times. That's one thing to look forward to, I guess - free lunch.
...whatevers...
In any case, I have another headache today, and sadly I forgot the wonderous box of headache medicines at home in my other bag. The bag I left at home today. Because of the costume. Oh well. I'm wearing the hat to try to compress my head a little, in an attempt to control the feeling of pressure and thus ignore the headache. But it's not working. Dammit.
Maybe it'll work if I pull the hat down over my eyes. Or at least my left eye. That might work. Yeah. But then, I won't be able to see the screen as I type. Hmm, that presents something of a quandry. I shall have to ponder that, as I sit in the artificial darkness that is the inside of my foofy hat with feathers.
At least, until lunch times. That's one thing to look forward to, I guess - free lunch.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Looking at cars...
My car is showing its age. I've had the little car for well nigh 10 years now, and it's really getting long in the tooth. Last month the power window control burned out, and I had to replace it - the part cost like $250 bucks... *winces* Now, the front breaks went bad, and it's going to need some work. Not sure how much it's going to cost me yet, but the initial estimate was $150.
*sighs*
For some time now, I've been working on acquiring a new ride, and put the old workhorse to pasture. Rather than go the "used car" route, I'm thinking of experiencing for myself the thrill of that new car smell as I drag my tired butt out the door and haul ass to get to work before the wondrous tardy fairy bestows the hot-pink-tardy-slip-memo-of-woe upon my inbox. (joy)
For a long time I was considering the Prius, Toyota's hybrid. Despite the higher price tag, I figured the gas mileage advantages and environmentally friendly profile far outweighed mere monetary concerns. That is, of course, until I found out about the truth - the gas mileage isn't anywhere NEAR as efficient as initially believed, the special hybrid battery needs to be replaced every 3 - 5 years (and costs an arm and a leg), and it doesn't come in a pretty blue color. (Yes, the lack of true blueage was what really killed it for me. Okay not really - it was the $30k price tag without any gas mileage benefits that REALLY killed it for me.)
Thus heartily disappointed, I turned away from the mythical Prius to a more practical solution - the Corolla. On Toyota's site, I played around with the different options and stuff that I'd want, and the MSRP came out to be about $19k. Which is still about $10k less than the Prius I had formerly been looking at.
And the Corolla comes in blue. A real blue.
So now all I have to do is finish saving up enough for a down payment. And make sure I have the means to make the monthly car payments that will be necessary. Which, of course, is even more motivation to beat that overly-cheerful tardy fairy every morning to the wonderful-happyland-place. (yay...)
Ah well...things could always be worse. I could be at work! (...oh wait, I am... -_-; )
*sighs*
For some time now, I've been working on acquiring a new ride, and put the old workhorse to pasture. Rather than go the "used car" route, I'm thinking of experiencing for myself the thrill of that new car smell as I drag my tired butt out the door and haul ass to get to work before the wondrous tardy fairy bestows the hot-pink-tardy-slip-memo-of-woe upon my inbox. (joy)
For a long time I was considering the Prius, Toyota's hybrid. Despite the higher price tag, I figured the gas mileage advantages and environmentally friendly profile far outweighed mere monetary concerns. That is, of course, until I found out about the truth - the gas mileage isn't anywhere NEAR as efficient as initially believed, the special hybrid battery needs to be replaced every 3 - 5 years (and costs an arm and a leg), and it doesn't come in a pretty blue color. (Yes, the lack of true blueage was what really killed it for me. Okay not really - it was the $30k price tag without any gas mileage benefits that REALLY killed it for me.)
Thus heartily disappointed, I turned away from the mythical Prius to a more practical solution - the Corolla. On Toyota's site, I played around with the different options and stuff that I'd want, and the MSRP came out to be about $19k. Which is still about $10k less than the Prius I had formerly been looking at.
And the Corolla comes in blue. A real blue.
So now all I have to do is finish saving up enough for a down payment. And make sure I have the means to make the monthly car payments that will be necessary. Which, of course, is even more motivation to beat that overly-cheerful tardy fairy every morning to the wonderful-happyland-place. (yay...)
Ah well...things could always be worse. I could be at work! (...oh wait, I am... -_-; )
Friday, October 01, 2004
Ever Wonder...
Ever wonder how things would be affected by your absence? Not as in, if you had never been born, but as in if you were gone from people's lives?
(Hey, no hitting. Yes, I know it's a little morbid. No, this ain't no preliminary bye-bye note or anything stupid. No worries. Just my imagination working through a little bout of depression, tryin not ta be wallowin in th' self-pity overmuch, an' all that. I'm okay. Really. I mean it. No hitting. *shakes finger in a stern manner*)
I was thinking about that the other day. Here are my thoughts on that
At work, I think for the most part nothing will change for them. It'll be just like when people leave for a better job (or a "better place," as we sometimes affectionately call it). Some stuff would be difficult to find, and it would be my fault. And anything that went wrong with any of the projects I was involved in would be instantly blamed on me.
A few people would be kinda sad. Some would be sad on a personal level, while others would just be sad because I wasn't there for them to make do things. Or try to make miserable. And some wouldn't even notice I was gone...
"Hey, I haven't seen her around the office for a few weeks, is she on vacation or something…?"
"Umm…dude, she's gone."
"Wow, really? That's cool. So, like, where's she working now?"
"…"
For my friends (some of whom may be yelling at me as I type), I'd like to think they'd be a bit more affected on a personal level. At least, once they were to find out. Sadly, I'm not the best at keeping in touch with folks, and weeks or even months can go by sometimes without me talking to them.
(Hence, one of the reasons for this blog. You folks reading out there? I hope so. Sometimes I worry that my lack of contact might make you folks think I don't care about ya's or something, which isn't the case - I'm just a little lazy, and need some prodding from time to time. Sometimes the prodding should be done with a 2 x 4 to the noggin. Yes I can be extremely dense sometimes. I'm sowwy I'm such a horrible friend. Here, have a 2 x 4. I'll go put on a cap with a big, red bull's eye on it. Okay, this aside is done now.)
My family would be the most severely affected. The cat especially - he doesn't even like it when I come home late. Me not coming home at all, ever - that might be too traumatic for the little furball to handle. He might need kitty therapy or something. And that can be costly.
(Hey, no hitting. Yes, I know it's a little morbid. No, this ain't no preliminary bye-bye note or anything stupid. No worries. Just my imagination working through a little bout of depression, tryin not ta be wallowin in th' self-pity overmuch, an' all that. I'm okay. Really. I mean it. No hitting. *shakes finger in a stern manner*)
I was thinking about that the other day. Here are my thoughts on that
At work, I think for the most part nothing will change for them. It'll be just like when people leave for a better job (or a "better place," as we sometimes affectionately call it). Some stuff would be difficult to find, and it would be my fault. And anything that went wrong with any of the projects I was involved in would be instantly blamed on me.
A few people would be kinda sad. Some would be sad on a personal level, while others would just be sad because I wasn't there for them to make do things. Or try to make miserable. And some wouldn't even notice I was gone...
"Hey, I haven't seen her around the office for a few weeks, is she on vacation or something…?"
"Umm…dude, she's gone."
"Wow, really? That's cool. So, like, where's she working now?"
"…"
For my friends (some of whom may be yelling at me as I type), I'd like to think they'd be a bit more affected on a personal level. At least, once they were to find out. Sadly, I'm not the best at keeping in touch with folks, and weeks or even months can go by sometimes without me talking to them.
(Hence, one of the reasons for this blog. You folks reading out there? I hope so. Sometimes I worry that my lack of contact might make you folks think I don't care about ya's or something, which isn't the case - I'm just a little lazy, and need some prodding from time to time. Sometimes the prodding should be done with a 2 x 4 to the noggin. Yes I can be extremely dense sometimes. I'm sowwy I'm such a horrible friend. Here, have a 2 x 4. I'll go put on a cap with a big, red bull's eye on it. Okay, this aside is done now.)
My family would be the most severely affected. The cat especially - he doesn't even like it when I come home late. Me not coming home at all, ever - that might be too traumatic for the little furball to handle. He might need kitty therapy or something. And that can be costly.
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Why?
Why?
Why, in an office building with no elevator to the second floor, and no conceivable way for someone in a wheelchair to get upstairs, is there a handicapped stall in the women's restroom?
Why, in a world of supposedly grown-up adults, do people run around gleefully doing petty, childish, hurtful things to each other?
Why are there mean people in the world, anyway?
Why can't people understand that everything they do in life has an effect on those around them, whether it's taking a co-worker for granted or not flushing the toilet?
Why don't people wash their hands after using the toilet? (That always grosses me out, that they don't...eeww...)
Why can't someone come up with a self-cleaning catbox?
Oh wait...someone did do that last one. Nevermind. ^^;
Why, in an office building with no elevator to the second floor, and no conceivable way for someone in a wheelchair to get upstairs, is there a handicapped stall in the women's restroom?
Why, in a world of supposedly grown-up adults, do people run around gleefully doing petty, childish, hurtful things to each other?
Why are there mean people in the world, anyway?
Why can't people understand that everything they do in life has an effect on those around them, whether it's taking a co-worker for granted or not flushing the toilet?
Why don't people wash their hands after using the toilet? (That always grosses me out, that they don't...eeww...)
Why can't someone come up with a self-cleaning catbox?
Oh wait...someone did do that last one. Nevermind. ^^;
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Belated post - VACATION
This entry SHOULD have been posted a week ago, but I admit to being too lazy to write it.
The vacation was fun. Fun (almost) beyond words to describe. Despite a little lack of sleep, compliments of the two in-house comedians who kept us all up all night with a very bad case of the giggles... or maybe because of it? I dunno, my memories are a bit hazy at this time. Probably has something to do with the lack of sleep I was suffering from at the time... wait, did I mention that already?
Really though, it was a blast to hang out with the group again. Only been a week, and I miss 'em all already. Even though I chat with them quite often online, it's not the same as just hanging out and just letting the craziness overtake us all. Of course, that level of craziness on a regular basis might just make us all... well, I guess it's too late for some of us. Me, for instance.
It's a shame that we all live in different states, and can only meet up maybe once a year or so. (Although, I think I can hear someone, somewhere, right now, telling me I should move to Oregon... then again, maybe it's just my overactive imagination...? :P )
Went to a lot of stuff at the con, and got the chance to learn some valuable things from a lot of familiar names. Tracy and Laura Hickman, Michael Stackpole, Robert Asprin, Jody Lynn Nye. Even got to see Anne McCaffery, Margaret Weiss, and Larry Elmore.
Also saw a ton of people in costume for the entire weekend. I swear I've never seen so many stormtroopers in my LIFE. There were also a bunch of jedi, several Starfleet peoples, a couple klingons, pirates, a few superheroes, general ren faire folks, two VERY impressive predators, a Halo troup, a strange creature made up of soft colored plastic balls, and one guy I swear just stepped out of the screen from a certain recent pirate movie. How these people could have been so dedicated as to wear these costumes for 3 days straight... talk about dedication.
And, of course, bought some stuff as well. Including a cute little furry stuffed animal - Tito, from the Nausicaa manga. (Yes yes, I know, it's not really alive, and therefore is not gazing down at me. But it's still cute. Hey, I'm female, I'm allowed the occasional fit of girlish silliness over cute stuffed animals. Don't laugh, or I'll have to send my dragon to scorch you. :P )
It was a total blast. I haven't had so much fun in a long time. Then again, it's always fun to hang out with people as crazy as I am. Crazy, but in a good way. Well, they are at least. Me? I dunno... anyways, I must go - little Tito decrees it... ^_^
The vacation was fun. Fun (almost) beyond words to describe. Despite a little lack of sleep, compliments of the two in-house comedians who kept us all up all night with a very bad case of the giggles... or maybe because of it? I dunno, my memories are a bit hazy at this time. Probably has something to do with the lack of sleep I was suffering from at the time... wait, did I mention that already?
Really though, it was a blast to hang out with the group again. Only been a week, and I miss 'em all already. Even though I chat with them quite often online, it's not the same as just hanging out and just letting the craziness overtake us all. Of course, that level of craziness on a regular basis might just make us all... well, I guess it's too late for some of us. Me, for instance.
It's a shame that we all live in different states, and can only meet up maybe once a year or so. (Although, I think I can hear someone, somewhere, right now, telling me I should move to Oregon... then again, maybe it's just my overactive imagination...? :P )
Went to a lot of stuff at the con, and got the chance to learn some valuable things from a lot of familiar names. Tracy and Laura Hickman, Michael Stackpole, Robert Asprin, Jody Lynn Nye. Even got to see Anne McCaffery, Margaret Weiss, and Larry Elmore.
Also saw a ton of people in costume for the entire weekend. I swear I've never seen so many stormtroopers in my LIFE. There were also a bunch of jedi, several Starfleet peoples, a couple klingons, pirates, a few superheroes, general ren faire folks, two VERY impressive predators, a Halo troup, a strange creature made up of soft colored plastic balls, and one guy I swear just stepped out of the screen from a certain recent pirate movie. How these people could have been so dedicated as to wear these costumes for 3 days straight... talk about dedication.
And, of course, bought some stuff as well. Including a cute little furry stuffed animal - Tito, from the Nausicaa manga. (Yes yes, I know, it's not really alive, and therefore is not gazing down at me. But it's still cute. Hey, I'm female, I'm allowed the occasional fit of girlish silliness over cute stuffed animals. Don't laugh, or I'll have to send my dragon to scorch you. :P )
It was a total blast. I haven't had so much fun in a long time. Then again, it's always fun to hang out with people as crazy as I am. Crazy, but in a good way. Well, they are at least. Me? I dunno... anyways, I must go - little Tito decrees it... ^_^
Friday, August 27, 2004
Dark Mirror
Ever encounter people in life who you just didn't like? Yeah, I think we all do. But has it ever happened when, looking at one of these people, you got the eerie feeling that you were looking into a kind of dark mirror? As if this person were somehow a dark reflection of yourself, with all your bad qualities amplified beyond all proportion, and all your good qualities stifled into oblivion?
I get that feeling sometimes. It's unsettling.
Dishonest. Insincere. Totally self-absorbed. Belittling of EVERYONE else but themselves. Arrogant. Insecure. Wont to say hurtful things and not ever notice (or care) how such comments affect others. Manipulative. Close-minded.
Had an unpleasant encounter today with someone with all of these aforementioned qualities. I'm not usually one for confrontations, but this time this person just went too far. Despite this person's protests to the contrary, I don't see how their comments could have been meant in any way but a malicous one. It was just rude.
Then again, I've found this person to be rude overall. And it's not just me - others have also commented on this as well.
And yet, sometimes, I get this strange feeling... this feeling that maybe there isn't all that much difference between me and them. That maybe, it's all just a matter of degree. I mean, I like to kid around. I poke fun at others, and myself. I can be stubborn at times, and contrary. So I ask myself, here and now - am I as deluded as this person? Am I as unaware of my actions, and how it might affect others? Am I like them?
That thought scares me. (-_-)
I get that feeling sometimes. It's unsettling.
Dishonest. Insincere. Totally self-absorbed. Belittling of EVERYONE else but themselves. Arrogant. Insecure. Wont to say hurtful things and not ever notice (or care) how such comments affect others. Manipulative. Close-minded.
Had an unpleasant encounter today with someone with all of these aforementioned qualities. I'm not usually one for confrontations, but this time this person just went too far. Despite this person's protests to the contrary, I don't see how their comments could have been meant in any way but a malicous one. It was just rude.
Then again, I've found this person to be rude overall. And it's not just me - others have also commented on this as well.
And yet, sometimes, I get this strange feeling... this feeling that maybe there isn't all that much difference between me and them. That maybe, it's all just a matter of degree. I mean, I like to kid around. I poke fun at others, and myself. I can be stubborn at times, and contrary. So I ask myself, here and now - am I as deluded as this person? Am I as unaware of my actions, and how it might affect others? Am I like them?
That thought scares me. (-_-)
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Why procrastinating is bad...and why I keep doing it anyway...
Procrastinating is bad, because when you keep putting things off, your have less time to get them done. And, as a result, you end up rushing around at the last minute, making yourself crazy trying to get them done in time.
Intellectually, I know this. And yet, over and over, every year, I still do it. Why? Sadly, I have no excuse. I get lazy, and put it off, again and again, just because I don't feel like doing it at that particular moment.
I have plenty of time, I tell myself. No need to worry about that now.
Yeah, right. Whatever.
So anyway, I'm finally working on getting ready for my trip. I've got a little more than a week to go now, and I'm still not ready. I still have a lot to get done. I managed to get a few things together - the toothpaste, the toothbrush, the shampoo, and stuff like that. Starting to think of which clothes I want to take, what notebooks to take with me, how much I think I'm going to spend, and all that kind of thing as well.
And just now I remembered that I forgot to get the insect repellent. Bleh, something to add to the "Do this before you leave, dummy" list. (>_<)
Ah well...so, off shopping again tomorrow. Hopefully I won't forget anything this time. (Doubtful, but...we'll see.)
But for right now, I think I'll go smack things around in FFXI. Just for a little bit. (^_^;)
Intellectually, I know this. And yet, over and over, every year, I still do it. Why? Sadly, I have no excuse. I get lazy, and put it off, again and again, just because I don't feel like doing it at that particular moment.
I have plenty of time, I tell myself. No need to worry about that now.
Yeah, right. Whatever.
So anyway, I'm finally working on getting ready for my trip. I've got a little more than a week to go now, and I'm still not ready. I still have a lot to get done. I managed to get a few things together - the toothpaste, the toothbrush, the shampoo, and stuff like that. Starting to think of which clothes I want to take, what notebooks to take with me, how much I think I'm going to spend, and all that kind of thing as well.
And just now I remembered that I forgot to get the insect repellent. Bleh, something to add to the "Do this before you leave, dummy" list. (>_<)
Ah well...so, off shopping again tomorrow. Hopefully I won't forget anything this time. (Doubtful, but...we'll see.)
But for right now, I think I'll go smack things around in FFXI. Just for a little bit. (^_^;)
Thursday, August 19, 2004
First Entry
Okay, here we go...my first entry.
First off, hello, and welcome to Talathar's collection of rambling and random thoughts.
I'll be posting a few things here from time to time, just to keep myself (and maybe you) entertained.
Not a whole lot to say right now, but I'll think of stuff. Maybe. Hey, where are you going? No really, I can be clever. Honest.
Oh poo. Fine then, I'm stopping here. But I'll be back...just you wait. And I'll be funny too. Hopefully...err...I mean, of course I will be. Funny, that is. And back.
(^_^)
First off, hello, and welcome to Talathar's collection of rambling and random thoughts.
I'll be posting a few things here from time to time, just to keep myself (and maybe you) entertained.
Not a whole lot to say right now, but I'll think of stuff. Maybe. Hey, where are you going? No really, I can be clever. Honest.
Oh poo. Fine then, I'm stopping here. But I'll be back...just you wait. And I'll be funny too. Hopefully...err...I mean, of course I will be. Funny, that is. And back.
(^_^)
