Feelin mad, feelin sad...

Stuff stuff stuff. I hate stuff. Well, the bad stuff anyway. I like good stuff, but not a whole lot of good stuff seems to be happening right now. Or at least, two really bad things are keeping me from feeling the happy glow of the good things. Like a negative aura, sucking all the goodness out of my life, leaving me nothing but the badness, the madness, and the sadness.

Okay, the first thing that's happening is work-related. Bad stuff happened, and basically the "powers that be" are using my boss as the scapegoat. (No, not the evil boss, for those of you who may know to whom I refer - the de-facto boss, the one that actually does all the work, even though she doesn't have the title) In typical fashion, their blatant coldness, their petty cruelty, and their callous attitudes (which sadly make up the most attractive parts of their "character") are coming to the fore in-force as they rampage through the department like waifey wanna-be's in a giant two-headed lizard suit, laying waste to the faux city of cubicle walls, and unleashing the toxic breath of evil words upon the frightened and helpless masses that they employ.

The boss is getting the brunt of the blame, and now they're trying to pin EVERYTHING ELSE that's gone wrong on her as well. Never mind that she was never given the authority to make any decisions ever, and that everything had to be approved by the "powers that be" first. Never mind that the one with the actual title of manager is the one who actually dropped the ball - as one of the elite members of the entourage of "powers that be," the invulnerable shield of "infallibility" falls upon her as well. Because, as we all know, the "powers that be" are NEVER wrong. EVER. Don't even suggest it, or the wrath shall fall upon thee, and make you cower in fear of "teh ebil" and "teh whorror."

... hmmm... who made the decisions ? and who gave approval? and has the title? and who get's the big paycheck? now... who's supposed to be responsible again? yeah, right, whatever... lowzy shirkers...

anyway...

The OTHER thing I've been feeling bad about is that I've finally decided to put the tarutaru out to pasture...but I'm leaving folks behind, and I feel really bad about it. I mean, really REALLY bad. Guilty even. Especially since some of these folks migrated over from other servers to play with our group... and then, almost the entire group goes and migrates over to "World of Warcraft."

FFXI was fun with the group. Very fun. I didn't WANT to like it at first... at first, I was really adamant that I was DONE with MMORPG's, after AC and the debacle of the NwN "incident" and all. I was kinda interested in WoW, but WoW was still a LONG way out there, and until then there just seemed nothing to pass the time.

I played "Age of Mythology" for a while, and "Dungeon Siege," and even "Morrowind," but none of them were satisfactory for long. So, after a while watching my brother play, I decided to give FFXI a try... and it was fun. And I started posting on one of the FFXI boards... and that was fun. Even though I was hesitant about it at first. Met some nice people, even got into a game group with them in FFXI.

But now... I dunno. Just over-all, it's not as fun as it used to be. I never got very high with my character, but... it just didn't FEEL as fun. It felt like... work.

Still, I enjoyed playing with the group. Whether it was the full party going out to destroy pixel monsters for the night, or just hooking up with a couple of them for a night of killing other pixel monsters for in-game currency, it was fun.

I especially enjoyed the time spent with a couple of guys - both of them live up north a wee bit, but in the same time zone. The three of us would go hunting together alot. One even came over from a different server to hang out with us. It was cool, and fun. It got to the point that I sometimes wouldn't bother logging in until 9ish in the evening, 'cause then I could be sure to not be already occupied with something else, and could hang out.

But now... I just don't have the urge to log in, even. WoW is more fun to me - easier, less time consuming, and has more roleplaying opportunities.

....but I feel bad about leaving people behind... ;_;

(...'Tan... have a site for job openings in OR?)