Top Story tonight at 11 - JAILBREAK!
A K-9 dog broke free of his kennel today in the Portland area, and the story gets top billing on the 11:00 news.
W T F ??
Strange... just strange. I mean, isn't there anything else of note to talk about on the news here? Back home, there's always news - shootings, robberies, high-speed car chases, smog, the economy, the Govenator, celebrity lawsuits - you name it, LA's got it.
...but apparently, we didn't have Houdini-type K-9 dogs that made the nightly news...
*shakes head*
...and they call us Los Angelese native peoples strange...
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Friday, November 18, 2005
Far Away
This poem kind of came to me. Been tinkering with it for the past couple of days. It's not completely on-the-mark with my situation, but the emotions are about right.
_____
Far Away
It hurts so much, it hurts so bad,
and I’m so far away.
Sharing thoughts and feelings now,
the things we couldn’t say.
The walls of silence tumble down,
assaulted by dismay.
And now our hearts we freely share -
but I’m so far away.
I’m far away from home,
So far and so alone.
A wayward leaf that’s blown,
Bereft of all I’ve known.
Still lost and doomed to roam,
A heart that can’t atone.
Still aching to the bone,
still longing for a home.
It seemed so right, it seemed so real,
But now it’s far away.
And everything we fought about,
a meaningless display.
Of tantrums thrown and egos bent,
the pain leads hearts astray.
And looking back I wonder why -
but now it’s far away.
I’m far away from home,
still feeling all alone.
A stone ‘cross water thrown,
cast into dark unknown.
Uncertain paths I roam,
and seek to make my own.
Still trying to atone,
still longing for my home.
A mind - weathered and worn
A heart - tattered and torn
A grief - mended and shorn
A soul – renewed and reborn
It hurts so much, it hurts so bad,
I feel so far away.
I’m holding on to what we have,
and won’t be lead astray.
Against the fear I wield a flame,
the darkness to allay.
And bolstered by your faith and love,
We’re not so far away.
I’m out here on my own,
myself, but not alone.
The pain I can’t disown,
and carry as I roam.
To test the dark unknown,
and see how much I’ve grown.
One day I’ll find my home.
Someday I’ll be at home.
© Talathar - November 16, 2005
_____
Far Away
It hurts so much, it hurts so bad,
and I’m so far away.
Sharing thoughts and feelings now,
the things we couldn’t say.
The walls of silence tumble down,
assaulted by dismay.
And now our hearts we freely share -
but I’m so far away.
I’m far away from home,
So far and so alone.
A wayward leaf that’s blown,
Bereft of all I’ve known.
Still lost and doomed to roam,
A heart that can’t atone.
Still aching to the bone,
still longing for a home.
It seemed so right, it seemed so real,
But now it’s far away.
And everything we fought about,
a meaningless display.
Of tantrums thrown and egos bent,
the pain leads hearts astray.
And looking back I wonder why -
but now it’s far away.
I’m far away from home,
still feeling all alone.
A stone ‘cross water thrown,
cast into dark unknown.
Uncertain paths I roam,
and seek to make my own.
Still trying to atone,
still longing for my home.
A mind - weathered and worn
A heart - tattered and torn
A grief - mended and shorn
A soul – renewed and reborn
It hurts so much, it hurts so bad,
I feel so far away.
I’m holding on to what we have,
and won’t be lead astray.
Against the fear I wield a flame,
the darkness to allay.
And bolstered by your faith and love,
We’re not so far away.
I’m out here on my own,
myself, but not alone.
The pain I can’t disown,
and carry as I roam.
To test the dark unknown,
and see how much I’ve grown.
One day I’ll find my home.
Someday I’ll be at home.
© Talathar - November 16, 2005
Monday, November 14, 2005
Bleh
Still kinda bleh today. Getting better, but it's just going to take time.
I got my new bed on Saturday. Woke up Sunday morning, and was immediately hit with a feeling of disorientation - for just a brief second, I thought I was back home in LA. Took me a while to realize that I wasn't. It was an odd feeling.
It's kinda weird. I feel like I'm being a big burden here. Like I'm being a total disruption - the bad kind.
I dunno.
Think I'll go take a little walk or something.
I got my new bed on Saturday. Woke up Sunday morning, and was immediately hit with a feeling of disorientation - for just a brief second, I thought I was back home in LA. Took me a while to realize that I wasn't. It was an odd feeling.
It's kinda weird. I feel like I'm being a big burden here. Like I'm being a total disruption - the bad kind.
I dunno.
Think I'll go take a little walk or something.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Homesick
It's kind of silly, as I've only been here a few days, but I'm missing home really bad right now. I miss my friends, I miss the town, I miss being able to drive around and run errands for myself - but most of all, I miss my family. I've lost my appetite the past couple of days, and have been feeling really down - enough so that Deb and Wes are worried.
I've been trying to keep busy with stuff - a little cleaning here, and a little reorganizing there, polishing up the resume, working on a new cover letter, stuff like that. But I just haven't been able to muster up much spirit about it.
So, I decided to call home today, and talk to the family. You know, just see how they are doing, let them know I miss them, and that kind of thing. I thought I'd get all weepy talking to Mom, but I got more weepy talking to Dad, really. He's been really worried, and I had to tell him several times that I'm okay. Mom was more practical, although I could tell she was happy I called. She asked me if I needed anything, and said she'd ship some things up to me, and have some things for me to take back when I visit for Thanksgiving.
I feel a little better now. I still miss them, but they're still there for me. And I know that they always will be - just like I'll always be there for them.
I've been trying to keep busy with stuff - a little cleaning here, and a little reorganizing there, polishing up the resume, working on a new cover letter, stuff like that. But I just haven't been able to muster up much spirit about it.
So, I decided to call home today, and talk to the family. You know, just see how they are doing, let them know I miss them, and that kind of thing. I thought I'd get all weepy talking to Mom, but I got more weepy talking to Dad, really. He's been really worried, and I had to tell him several times that I'm okay. Mom was more practical, although I could tell she was happy I called. She asked me if I needed anything, and said she'd ship some things up to me, and have some things for me to take back when I visit for Thanksgiving.
I feel a little better now. I still miss them, but they're still there for me. And I know that they always will be - just like I'll always be there for them.
Monday, November 07, 2005
The Trip
Off to Oregon
The first night, we drove for a few hours to get beyond the pass, because they were going to close it for most of the day Saturday. I still wish that there had been a little more time, and that Deb and Wes could have seen a little bit of LA before we had to leave, but that’s just the way things go sometimes. :/
We drove north on the 405, then north on the 5, until we had passed all the landmarks I was familiar with. And we kept driving, driving, driving, until finally we reached our destination for the night – a place I can no longer really recall, save for the comfortable bed I all but collapsed on, and the 24-hour IHOP were I had pumpkin pancakes and orange-flavored water (which supposedly was supposed to be orange juice) the next morning.
…mmm… pumpkin pancakes…
Anyway, we were all a bit tired so slept in just a wee bit, and didn’t get started until maybe 10ish on Saturday. Friday we stopped a little late, so I called my folks in the morning and left a message telling them I was okay before we headed off for breakfast. Then, refreshed somewhat, we trudged off northward once again. We made several stops for gas along the way, and had sandwiches at one point. We also encountered the horrid, putrid stench of freshly-made fertilizer of the bovine variety – sadly, we didn’t realize that the air conditioner was on “fresh air” instead of “circulate air.” And let me tell you, that air was “fresh” all right. Fresh from the moo-cow’s behind.
Blech.
Wes switched the air settings quickly, but alas it was already too late, for that the nauseating, fetid fumes had already infested the cabin of the minivan with a rank, noisome odor all its own. There was nothing we could do except endure the torment bravely until we had passed the wide, vast, seemingly unending collection of natural organic poo production factories. Once we cleared them, we set about to change the air by rolling down the windows.
Lunch was sammiches, from Guiliano's, which I will miss in the far off land of Oregon. Nummy sammiches, which I thank Keith for, because he went to go get them for me.
On Saturday, November 5th, at approximately 8:45 pm, I left the state ofCalifornia
It was raining, and driving in the rain at night on a mountain-side while tired… well… let’s just say it was a bit of an interesting ride. We stopped finally atGrants Pass.
Sunday morning – the last leg of the journey. Again started out a little on the late side – this time breakfast was a Denny’s. We then drove off once more, with Deb in the lead and me following behind. It rained off and on, and was enough to make me nervous – and Wes too, methinks. Still we managed to make it all in one piece.
After we unpacked quickly, I called home to let the folks know I had arrived safely. And, hearing the slight quaver in my mom’s voice set off a sudden wave of home sickness. Until then, I had been too busy with everything to really think about it all, and it all hit home right at that moment. It was hard. It still is hard. I miss them so much right now. I knew it was coming, but even so, I didn’t realize how hard it would hit.
I’m okay. Or rather, I’ll be okay – just going to take a bit of time.
Adventures mean some sacrifices and hardships, after all. I just gotta stick it through.
The first night, we drove for a few hours to get beyond the pass, because they were going to close it for most of the day Saturday. I still wish that there had been a little more time, and that Deb and Wes could have seen a little bit of LA before we had to leave, but that’s just the way things go sometimes. :/
We drove north on the 405, then north on the 5, until we had passed all the landmarks I was familiar with. And we kept driving, driving, driving, until finally we reached our destination for the night – a place I can no longer really recall, save for the comfortable bed I all but collapsed on, and the 24-hour IHOP were I had pumpkin pancakes and orange-flavored water (which supposedly was supposed to be orange juice) the next morning.
…mmm… pumpkin pancakes…
Anyway, we were all a bit tired so slept in just a wee bit, and didn’t get started until maybe 10ish on Saturday. Friday we stopped a little late, so I called my folks in the morning and left a message telling them I was okay before we headed off for breakfast. Then, refreshed somewhat, we trudged off northward once again. We made several stops for gas along the way, and had sandwiches at one point. We also encountered the horrid, putrid stench of freshly-made fertilizer of the bovine variety – sadly, we didn’t realize that the air conditioner was on “fresh air” instead of “circulate air.” And let me tell you, that air was “fresh” all right. Fresh from the moo-cow’s behind.
Blech.
Wes switched the air settings quickly, but alas it was already too late, for that the nauseating, fetid fumes had already infested the cabin of the minivan with a rank, noisome odor all its own. There was nothing we could do except endure the torment bravely until we had passed the wide, vast, seemingly unending collection of natural organic poo production factories. Once we cleared them, we set about to change the air by rolling down the windows.
Lunch was sammiches, from Guiliano's, which I will miss in the far off land of Oregon. Nummy sammiches, which I thank Keith for, because he went to go get them for me.
On Saturday, November 5th, at approximately 8:45 pm, I left the state of
It was raining, and driving in the rain at night on a mountain-side while tired… well… let’s just say it was a bit of an interesting ride. We stopped finally at
Sunday morning – the last leg of the journey. Again started out a little on the late side – this time breakfast was a Denny’s. We then drove off once more, with Deb in the lead and me following behind. It rained off and on, and was enough to make me nervous – and Wes too, methinks. Still we managed to make it all in one piece.
After we unpacked quickly, I called home to let the folks know I had arrived safely. And, hearing the slight quaver in my mom’s voice set off a sudden wave of home sickness. Until then, I had been too busy with everything to really think about it all, and it all hit home right at that moment. It was hard. It still is hard. I miss them so much right now. I knew it was coming, but even so, I didn’t realize how hard it would hit.
I’m okay. Or rather, I’ll be okay – just going to take a bit of time.
Adventures mean some sacrifices and hardships, after all. I just gotta stick it through.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
*Thoughtful sigh*
Today I slacked on the packing. Yes I know, that's not good considering I have to be done by Friday. But I have a good reason for the slacking - I was off visiting the grandmothers today.
I was a wee bit tired from packing late into the night, so I woke up behind schedule this morning. It took me a while to wake up completely, but eventually a little caffeine infusion seemed to do the trick. My brother wanted to go too, but he was having a bad time of it, so I waited, letting him sleep in for several hours. I should have spent that time packing some, really - but didn't do much.
Finally hit the road after lunchtime, and after a few errands we were off for a short trip down the freeway to the downtown area. We visited for a bit with my paternal grandmother first. It was kind of hard, because she only speaks Japanese, can't hear too well anymore, and is currently in her 90's. Still, she showed us pictures of her parents and siblings from when she was a child, and it was really interesting. It was also a little shocking, looking at those old pictures and realizing that they were taken about 90 years ago, when my grandmother was just a child. I also saw the family resemblance between my great-grandfather and my dad, and from there to my brother. Some of the facial structure is still in my face too, but the blood from mom's side gives me these tarutaru-ish cheeks, making it hard to see. *shrug*
We stayed for a while, hindered by difficulties in communication - my Japanese is very limited, and while I understand a little better than I speak, that's not really saying much. I think she understood when I told her I was leaving the state for a while, but I'm not completely sure. I wish there was more I could have said. As it is, I'm not completely sure she understood everything I said, or that I understood everything she was telling me. When the visit came to an end, my brother and I both gave her a hug, and told her to take care, and that we'd see her again next time.
After that visit, we stopped briefly in Little Tokyo, where I stopped to get some imagawayaki, as I figure I won't be finding these little suckers up north much. mmmm... nummy stuffs... I was such a pig, I had 2, fresh from the griddle. I also grabbed some extra imagawayaki and some bread, then we were on our way back on the road - this time, we went to our other grandmother's house.
We gave her the sweets, which she really likes, and talked for a bit. She said it would be lonely with me leaving the state, but said she understood that I needed to at least try, if that was what I wanted to do. But she did seem a bit sad about it, and she wanted to do something special for me before I go. In our family, that usually involves a meal with all your favorite dishes and stuff. I told her not to worry about it right now, because I'd be back for Thanksgiving, when everyone makes all my favorite dishes anyway.
Also took the parents, the brother, and the brother's girlfriend (of 4+ years now) out to dinner tonight, to thank them for everything they've done for me over the years. Dad wanted steak, so I took them to Black Angus (which he prefers over the Outback *shrugs*). It was fun, and everyone seemed to enjoy it.
I'm really going to miss my family. I know it's what I want to do and all, and I can always come back and visit... but at the same time, things will never be quite the same after this.
Then again, I guess that's true for every single day we're alive.
I was a wee bit tired from packing late into the night, so I woke up behind schedule this morning. It took me a while to wake up completely, but eventually a little caffeine infusion seemed to do the trick. My brother wanted to go too, but he was having a bad time of it, so I waited, letting him sleep in for several hours. I should have spent that time packing some, really - but didn't do much.
Finally hit the road after lunchtime, and after a few errands we were off for a short trip down the freeway to the downtown area. We visited for a bit with my paternal grandmother first. It was kind of hard, because she only speaks Japanese, can't hear too well anymore, and is currently in her 90's. Still, she showed us pictures of her parents and siblings from when she was a child, and it was really interesting. It was also a little shocking, looking at those old pictures and realizing that they were taken about 90 years ago, when my grandmother was just a child. I also saw the family resemblance between my great-grandfather and my dad, and from there to my brother. Some of the facial structure is still in my face too, but the blood from mom's side gives me these tarutaru-ish cheeks, making it hard to see. *shrug*
We stayed for a while, hindered by difficulties in communication - my Japanese is very limited, and while I understand a little better than I speak, that's not really saying much. I think she understood when I told her I was leaving the state for a while, but I'm not completely sure. I wish there was more I could have said. As it is, I'm not completely sure she understood everything I said, or that I understood everything she was telling me. When the visit came to an end, my brother and I both gave her a hug, and told her to take care, and that we'd see her again next time.
After that visit, we stopped briefly in Little Tokyo, where I stopped to get some imagawayaki, as I figure I won't be finding these little suckers up north much. mmmm... nummy stuffs... I was such a pig, I had 2, fresh from the griddle. I also grabbed some extra imagawayaki and some bread, then we were on our way back on the road - this time, we went to our other grandmother's house.
We gave her the sweets, which she really likes, and talked for a bit. She said it would be lonely with me leaving the state, but said she understood that I needed to at least try, if that was what I wanted to do. But she did seem a bit sad about it, and she wanted to do something special for me before I go. In our family, that usually involves a meal with all your favorite dishes and stuff. I told her not to worry about it right now, because I'd be back for Thanksgiving, when everyone makes all my favorite dishes anyway.
Also took the parents, the brother, and the brother's girlfriend (of 4+ years now) out to dinner tonight, to thank them for everything they've done for me over the years. Dad wanted steak, so I took them to Black Angus (which he prefers over the Outback *shrugs*). It was fun, and everyone seemed to enjoy it.
I'm really going to miss my family. I know it's what I want to do and all, and I can always come back and visit... but at the same time, things will never be quite the same after this.
Then again, I guess that's true for every single day we're alive.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Packing
My god I never realized how much CRAP I've accumulated in my life! There's just too much of it! No way I can take it all, and yet parting with some if it is just... painful.
So much stuff still to go through and pack up. Gah, and I only have until Friday. Yeash. Must get done... must... get... done...
*sighs*
So much stuff still to go through and pack up. Gah, and I only have until Friday. Yeash. Must get done... must... get... done...
*sighs*