Randomness

Latest MMORPG experience: Lord of the Rings Online.

Good points:

1.) Lots of lore. Heck, it's based on Tolkien!

2.) I get to be a short healer again. Yay!

3.) Also get to be a short tank. A REALLY short tank. More yay!

Disappointing points:

1.) Weapons aren't proportional to the size of your character. Thus, my short tank drags her sword along the ground. And a two-handed sword appears to drag THROUGH the floor.

I guess that's why the Shire has a lot of farms - you can just strap a big sword on all the adventuring hobbits and have them run across your field. Instant furrows everywhere, ready for planting.

2.) Characters don't walk - they mince. It's like there's something is wrong with their feet, making them physically unable to move a foot forward in a normal stride, unless running.

I don't see my hobbit in a kimono, so watching her walk that way makes no sense whatsoever.

3.) Auction House Interface - you can't use the "tab" and "enter" keys in the auction house interface to move from field to field. Not even if you're trying to, say, enter a bid of 10 silver and 55 copper. Instead you have to click into the silvers box, enter "10," then click into the copper box and enter "55." THEN to bid you have to go click on "Bid."

This is a minor annoyance. And happens every time you visit the AH.

Ah well, guess I'll just vendor everything. >_>
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Tired tired tired tired tired.
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"Creature Comforts" is hilarious. Really really hilarious. Presented by the creators of "Wallace and Grommit," it has all the quirky humor that I so love.
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Still tired.
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So, putting the company's magazine together for the first time was quite an experience. A couple weeks with several 9-hour days (and skipping lunches), followed by one hellish 12-hour day.

Everything that could go wrong, just about did.

The Mac had a nervous breakdown and froze. All attempts to get it working were failing, and I was frustrated almost to the point of tears. My former boss had to be called, and managed to coax the machine to work well enough to get the project finished - but by that time it was past 8pm.

Turns out the HD was almost completely full. Just had to clear out a bit of space, defrag the disk, and soon it was back to normal.

I wish fixing my brain was that easy.

Kinda Down

Friend of mine the other day said, "Portland is a great place, there's a lot of stuff to do. But it sucks to be in alone in this city, without someone to do stuff with."

I gotta say I think she's right.

It's hard for me out here. I feel very lonely. I don't have folks around to drag me out to do fun stuff when I'm feeling down or withdrawn. Or check up on me when I'm not feeling well. Or pester me when I need to be pestered. Or make me laugh.

Feels like if I were to die out here, it would be days before anyone would even notice.

Springtime blossoms fade
Melancholy memories
Tossed into the wind.

I remember when...

So I turn on the news, and find that my local CBS affiliate is (once again) covering a fire outbreak. Before I switch the station, they mention that the fire is in LA.

Griffith Park is on fire. I sit and watch in horror as flames engulf a beloved place of my childhood memories.

My parents used to take us up there on occasion. I remember the little train ride for the kids. I remember the pony ride - where else is a city kid gonna get the chance to ride a horse in LA? I think there was a petting zoo as well, but my memories are vague and I can't be sure. But the train ride and the ponies, I'm sure of.

I remember loving our trips to the park - the long car trips filled with anticipation (hey, anything longer than 5 minutes is a "long" car trip for a kid), waiting in line with other excited kids, the ponies carrying children along their rope-defined paths...

How much of all that was left, I don't know. I hadn't been there in ages - not since I was a kid. Memories were all I really had of the place. Vague, happy, childhood memories.

Encircled and engulfed in flames.

Random Reflections

There was a child today, running around after her mother. She couldn't have been more than two years old, if that. Laughing, playing, rushing about with all the endless energy and innocent exhuberance that only children can possess. Yet even so, she was very well behaved for a child her age. You could tell her mother spent a lot of time with her, and was already teaching her socialization skills.

There's nothing quite like a child's laughter. Filled with such happiness, such unbridled joy, it can bring a smile to all but the hardest of hearts.

Bringing up a child in this world, it's so just much. I'm in awe of people who have the kind of courage and selflessness it takes to be a good parent. Especially in this day and age. There's just so much out there that can harm a child, on one way or another - physically, emotionally, spiritually... it's scary. And yet, you can't protect them from everything. Kids will be kids - they'll go out, try things, get hurt, and hopefully learn from their experiences without causing themselves permanent damage.

I look at my younger cousins, and where I once saw cute little monsters I now see fine young men and women. It's so amazing. They're so amazing. It's hard to believe sometimes. I'm so proud of them - so proud to call them family.

I look around and see old friends raising their little ones. Or not-so-little ones, in some cases. And again, it's so amazing. So incredibly amazing.

And, at times, I feel a pang of longing - and loss. Because I know. I'll never know the joys and hardships of parenthood. All the frustration, all the worry, all the wonder. All of it, an amalgam of contradictory emotions and experiences, bundled up with a bow, like a present.

But not for me.