Dear Non-Player Character at the Blade's HQ in Oblivion,
Yes, I understand that you may be frustrated at a no-name ex-convict such as my character. But really, is it necessary to throw a big plate of venison at my face just as I walk in the door? Granted, I look like a big bipedal cat and all, but really, I think it's kind of rude.
Please refrain from doing it again. Else I might take offense, and poop in your boot.
_____
Dear Parents of Kids Littering the Front Lawn During Obon,
If you see you kids throwing stuff onto the lawn, please tell them to stop. Would YOU like it if some random kids came to your house and threw candy wrappers all over your yard? No, I thought not. Please try to be good role models for your kids.
Thanks.
_____
Dear Marketing People Who Came Up with the New Prius Commercials,
Ew. Just ew.
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