Monday, February 12, 2007

On Blizzard and the Power of Poo...

I am a gamer. Not exactly an obsessive gamer (although some may disagree), but an avid gamer. Since my introduction to MMORPG’s (anyone out there remember Asheron’s Call?), I have been the victim of a few other like-minded fantasy-based games of this nature. And for the past 2 years, the MMORPG of choice has been a somewhat popular game by the name of “World of Warcraft.” It is from a company called Blizzard, and is based on their lucrative Real Time Strategy series “Warcraft.”

It’s really rather a fun game. You select a race and class, run around killing pixelated enemies and monsters, raise in levels and obtain new weapons and armor with which to slay even more powerful enemies and monsters. Oh, and if you’re on a Roleplay server, you get to pretend to “be” your character in your interactions with other characters. Like dress-up, but without spending a couple hundred (thousand?) bucks on a nice sword and shiny armor too heavy to walk around in comfortably.

However, there is one little small thing I have to say about some of the quest lines presented in the game. Specifically, quest lines that somehow involve … poo.

No, that’s not another one of the “gamer-speak” acronyms that represent some turn of phrase or game-related term (like xp, mp, hp, oom, pat, inc, or countless other terms no doubt incomprehensible to most non-gamer peoples). By “poo” I mean excrement. That undigestible material which exits out the backside of most multicellular Earth-based organisms of non-plant origin after processing. Otherwise known, in more crude terms, as poopies, crap, doo-doo, and shit.

Someone at Blizzard has an unhealthy obsession with the stuff, it seems. I have so far experienced no less than three quests that somehow involve your character scurrying off in search of some form of poo for some reason or another. Collecting the crystal poo of giants to make a demon-slaying sword… ew? Poo-sword? The collecting samples to determine the diet of monsters is a little more feasible (if no less icky, imho), but yeah the mighty Poo-sword of doomzorz (+5 vs demons) is a little much, don’t you think?

…and I won’t even go into the poo-cherry tablets… collected from large piles of what look like doggy doo-doo…

*sigh*

As if eating spider-kebobs and clam-bars (chewy and delicious!) wasn’t bad enough…

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I managed to avoid that quest by skipping Nagrand entirely. Vaiya, however, may not be so fortunate.

Talathar said...

In response to the anon-that-is-Torias:

Careful where she steps around Nagrand - there are big piles of the stuff all over the place.

In response to the blade-that-is-Itanya:

I believe you have me possibly mistaken for he-whom-you-have-married?